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Thread: It was

  1. Key Member
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    #1

    It was

    Please would you correct the mistakes in my sentence:

    It was only his premature death that prevented him from ending up in court and probably a long prison sentence.

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    #2

    Re: It was

    The minimal correction isː
    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post

    It was only his premature death that prevented him from ending up in court, and probably a long prison sentence.
    The comma is probably optional, but I would strongly recommend it because the implicit pause strengthens the impact of the final outcome of the court appearance: avoidance of jail was after all the strongest benefit of his early death.
    Last edited by abaka; 18-Jun-2014 at 00:34. Reason: Rethought answer.

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    #3

    Re: It was

    The sentence is not natural for me. It attempts to use "prevented" to apply to two structures that are not parallel. I would rephrase it as: "It was only his premature death that prevented him from ending up in court and probably receiving a long prison sentence.

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    #4

    Re: It was

    Or even:

    It was only his premature death that saved him from ending up in court, and probably from a long prison sentence.
    Last edited by abaka; 18-Jun-2014 at 01:31.

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    #5

    Re: It was

    Quote Originally Posted by abaka View Post
    avoidance of jail was after all the strongest benefit of his early death.
    I am not a teacher.

    I don't see how anyone would benefit from their own premature death.

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