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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Talking Talents in fields like sport or art

    Hi everyone,

    It's great to know of this amazing site. I know what you are doing here is just voluntary but if possible, it would be great to help me improve my writing. I am about to take the exam in 1 month, so all ideas are welcome.

    This is the topic from the Cambridge IELTS 7, Test 1.

    It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

    Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    Here is my answer

    These days, there are many musicians or athletes famous for their excellent performance. While it is often argued that these people need to possess inborn skills in order to reach such levels, some may claim that anyone can be good at music or sports through teaching.

    It is clear that some people are born with certain abilities, but research has shown that hard work and perseverance play an even more important role. For instance, a lot of great athletes worldwide need guidance and help from their coaches so as to unleash their full potential when competing. Moreover, no one is born with a large amount of strength, agility or endurance. These attributes can only be developed through dedicated training and correct methods with strict disciplines. One practical example is Lance Armstrong, who is well known by winning the Tour De France seven times consecutively, albeit his cancer.

    Having said that, innate prowess is a major factor as well. This is because these people seem to have a better understanding than a normal person and therefore can progress faster in their fields than others. For example, Mozart was famed for his musical skills when he was only a child. Furthermore, people born with talents are often more creative and they can produce spectacular performance. As a matter of fact, a number of innovative inventions are the work of people who can think differently.

    To conclude, although some great people are born with specific talents, education and persistence in working is also essential. In my view, almost everyone can become good at something if they are well-educated and hard-working.

    (267 words)

  2. Newbie
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    #2

    Re: Talents in fields like sport or art

    Um, guys?! Could you help me a bit?

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    #3

    Re: Talents in fields like sport or art

    I don't correct writing, but...

    One practical example is Lance Armstrong, who is well known by winning the Tour De France seven times consecutively, albeit his cancer.
    Albeit is not the same as despite. He would be known for winning. (And he won by cheating.)

    good at something if they are well-educated
    Educated is probably not a good choice of word- it doesn't cover other forms of training, and ignores talent.

  3. Raymott's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Talents in fields like sport or art

    'Albeit' is not used correctly. It means "although/even though". ", although his cancer" isn't right. Try 'despite'.
    There are a few instances of an 's' lacking or which shouldn't be there. Overall, it's very good - about a 7-8 level, I'd say.

  4. Newbie
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    #5

    Re: Talents in fields like sport or art

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    I don't correct writing, but...



    Albeit is not the same as despite. He would be known for winning. (And he won by cheating.)



    Educated is probably not a good choice of word- it doesn't cover other forms of training, and ignores talent.
    Thanks, mate. Though he cheated, he is still an inpiration for some people but I also think it's best to not include that part :D.

    And my point when speaking of education is to emphasize its importance over talent.
    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    'Albeit' is not used correctly. It means "although/even though". ", although his cancer" isn't right. Try 'despite'.
    There are a few instances of an 's' lacking or which shouldn't be there. Overall, it's very good - about a 7-8 level, I'd say.
    Thanks for the comment, man. Singular/plural nouns are hard for me, to be honest :D and articles as well.

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