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    Please help me edit this

    Hi! I'm a new member and I post up articles on a hobby forum involving a video game. It would be a great help, since English is my second language, if you could help me edit some of my editorials so that I may post up better content for everyone!

    Since it is a video game, I will underline terms that are specific to the series as to not confuse anyone who doesn't know the word, since it is obviously about fiction.

    Thank you so much!

    Why Eiko will always be a better person than me

    The Final Fantasy series has a number of characters that could be considered role models for others. They are brave, courageous, kind, selfless, and heroic. One character who doesn't get regarded in this way would be none other than Eiko, the spunky six year old girl from Madain Sari. I will admit that she hasn't always rubbed me the right way, she can be quite annoying at times, and hardly fits the role model criteria set forth by other characters such as Zidane and Vivi. Nonetheless, Eiko, all six years of her, is a stronger person than I've ever been, and I'll explain why.

    Eiko has never been a character I identify with on a deep level, but upon further consideration, we do have some things in common. Mainly, we were both alone at a young age. While Eiko is the last remaining of her summoner tribe, I was passed around like a hot potato by family and friends of family because no one wanted me. Eiko can be seen stealing food to help fight off hunger, a situation I am all too familiar with, having had times as a young child where I had to ask for change on the streets to afford some cheap meals. The girl's only friends before the arrival of our heroes are the Moogles, making her very lonely and self dependent. This is something I can also identify with, having gone long periods of time with very little contact with others and having to take care of myself from a very young age.

    Here are where the differences begin, and also what prompted the title. My experiences led me to become an emotionally weak person. I never felt I could depend on anyone and as a result, I began to latch on to anyone who would show me a glimmer of kindness. I put it on them to be the parent I never had, to be the one person who would love me and take care of me. Sadly, I almost always ended up projecting those feelings on to people who were abusive in one form or another. This led to an even weaker sense of self and an even weaker emotional maturity. Even though I can acknowledge these faults in myself now, it doesn't make them any easier to fix. I suppose admitting you have a problem is the first step.

    Eiko, on the other hand, has shown immense strength and emotional maturity for her age. Where I fumbled, she stood up and pressed forward. Did she make mistakes along the way? Absolutely. What six year old hasn't? But despite that she has shown a strength that I know few people would have had should they have been in the same situation. When Zidane and the others arrived, she decided to go with them. You could see her grappling with the situation after her father told her not to leave the village, but the fact she was able to rationally debate the matter with herself and arrive to the conclusion she did is astounding. She stood up to countless foes, many difficult situations, learned about love and friendship, and did all of this before most of us knew how to grocery shop on our own. Thinking back on the game, Eiko may have been rambunctious and annoying at times, but the strength of character she showed was, to me, amazing.

    Why will Eiko always be a better person than me? Maybe she won't be. She's a fictional character and IX will probably never have a sequel, so we can't know for sure. But what I do know is that she managed to achieve a state of maturity, strength, and happiness at a very young age, whereas I still struggle with it in to adulthood. Maybe one day I'll learn how to be more like her. But for now, all I can do is try.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: Please help me edit this

    This is rather long. You might get someone prepared to do it all but I recommend that you post no more than one paragraph at a time.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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