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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Taiwan
      • Current Location:
      • Taiwan

    • Join Date: Dec 2010
    • Posts: 1,038
    #1

    vibrant city

    Is the paragraph natural English?

    Have you arrived in Hong Kong? When did you get there? How long did it take from Shanghai to Hong Kong by flying? What hotel do you stay at during your visit in Hong Kong? Being one of the world's most dynamic cities, Hong Kong offers unique experiences to visitors, such as The Peak, Star Ferry, Tramways, dynamic street markets, bustling shopping areas, Hong Kong Disneyland, Ocean Park and etc. Many visitors end-up stayed in Hong Kong longer than they had planned. Therefore, discover as much as possible what the vibrant city of Hong Kong has to offer during your stay in Hong Kong. It deserves your exploration!

    • Member Info
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      • American English
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      • United States
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      • United States

    • Join Date: Apr 2009
    • Posts: 12,310
    #2

    Re: vibrant city

    It begins as a bunch of questions that might be asked of someone who just arrived. Then it starts to sound like a sales pitch to come visit the city. I wouldn't expect those two things together.

    H"ow long did it take to fly here from Shanghai? What hotel are you staying at?"

    "And etc" is redundant. The "et" in "et cetera" is Latin for "and."

    "Many visitors end up staying..."

    • Member Info
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      • English
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      • United States
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    #3

    Re: vibrant city

    ***** NOT A TEACHER *****


    Hello, Ashiuhto:

    I respectfully suggest a few little changes.


    Have you ever been to Hong Kong? When were you there? How long did it take to fly from Shanghai to Hong Kong? What hotel did you stay at? One of the world's most dynamic cities, Hong Kong offers many unique experiences, including the Peak, the Star Ferry, tramways, teeming street markets, bustling shopping malls, Disneyland, Ocean Park, etc. Many tourists end up staying longer than they had planned. It is well worth the effort to explore as many facets as you can of this vibrant metropolis.

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