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    #1

    poorly-equipped

    Please help me correct the paragraph. Thanks!

    For one thing, in the manufacturing process, the chopsticks are dumped on the floor and packed without sterilizing the sticks or plastic wrapping. Besides, facilities in the factories are poorly-equipped and the workers haven’t received a good education before. So they are not as hygienic as they seem.
    Last edited by Ashiuhto; 22-Aug-2014 at 15:49.

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    #2

    Re: poorly-equipped

    Before what?

    Even ill-educated people working with poor tools can be trained to be sanitary. I am not sure I see the connection there.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: poorly-equipped

    Surely it's the employer's job to educate the employees about hygiene and sanitary working practices! Instead of saying "... the workers haven't received a good education", I would say "... the employers don't give the workers hygiene training".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #4

    Re: poorly-equipped

    For one thing, in the manufacturing process, the chopsticks are dumped on the floor and packed without sterilizing the sticks or plastic wrapping. Besides, facilities in the factories are poorly-equipped and the workers are not well-trained with sanitary education. They don't wear gloves, mask, uniform, and even bare the feet. So they are not as hygienic as they seem.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: poorly-equipped

    Quote Originally Posted by Ashiuhto View Post
    For one thing, in during the manufacturing process, the chopsticks are dumped on the floor and packed without sterilizing the sticks them or wrapping them in plastic​. wrapping. Besides, In addition, facilities in the factories are poorly-equipped and the workers are not well-trained with in sanitary procedures. education. They don't wear gloves, masks, uniforms, and even bare the have bare feet. So they (do you mean the chopsticks or the workers?) are not as hygienic as they seem.
    See above for my suggested changes and a question.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: poorly-equipped

    As a general comment, we don't usually hyphenate -ly adverbs. But they are poorly equipped in what way?

    Surely that are not dumped on the floor as a matter of routine?

    For one thing, during the manufacturing process, it's not uncommon for chopsticks to fall to the floor and be used anyway. They are packed without any sort of sterilization, nor is the paper wrapping they come in sterilized. Additionally, the workers in the factories are often not trained in sanitary procedures. They work without gloves, masks, or uniforms, and sometimes even without shoes. Little about disposable chopsticks is as hygienic as might be supposed.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 22-Aug-2014 at 17:51. Reason: minor typos
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: poorly-equipped

    Recently, the OP has admitted that the chopsticks piece is for a school competition. Getting us to rewrite it is cheating.

    Thread closed.

    Edit: Thread reopened - it turns out the OP is an ESL teacher looking for help in correcting the students' work and this is one of the pieces. I have asked the OP to amend their member profile to make it clear he/she is a teacher, to avoid such misunderstandings again.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 27-Aug-2014 at 07:34.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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