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    #1

    grab a bento

    Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

    As previously mentioned, disposable chopsticks are widely used in small restaurants and snack stands. Few people know they are not as hygienic as they seem. Food and Drug Administration, Ministry of Health and Welfare reminds people three tips for choosing better disposable chopsticks. Nevertheless, the best solution is to use your own pair of reusable chopsticks for meals to protect the environment and your health. But as awareness spreads, you may notice people pulling out their own chopsticks when they dine at a noodle joint, or declining disposables when they grab a bento to go.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: grab a bento

    May I ask what the purpose of this long piece about chopsticks is?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: grab a bento

    It's a part of the conclusion of my topic report.

  2. konungursvia's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: grab a bento

    "Reminds people of three tips" if you are using that construction.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: grab a bento

    Quote Originally Posted by Ashiuhto View Post
    Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

    As previously mentioned, disposable chopsticks are widely used in small restaurants and snack stands. Few people know they are not as hygienic as they seem. Food and Drug Administration, Ministry of Health and Welfare reminds people three tips for choosing better disposable chopsticks. Nevertheless, the best solution is to use your own pair of reusable chopsticks for meals to protect the environment and your health. But as awareness spreads, you may notice people pulling out their own chopsticks when they dine at a noodle joint, or declining disposables when they grab a bento to go.
    The first sentence is just fine. The second sentence leaves me . (How hygienic do they seem?) If it's one organization, I would say: "The Food and Drug Administration, the Ministry of Health and Welfare..." Next try: "The best thing to do is to use your own pair of reusable chopsticks for meals to protect the environment and your health," Finally, try: "More and more often, people use their own chopsticks when they dine at a noodle joint, or decline disposables when they grab a bento to go."

    (You seem to be getting better fast. )

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: grab a bento

    What are you going to do with this "topic report" when you finish it?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #7

    Re: grab a bento

    It's a group competition in my English class. Each group has to choose a topic and work on collecting stuff for the report. After finishing this report, each group has to make a verbal presentation at student center hall.

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: grab a bento

    Will you be marked/graded on this report and presentation?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: grab a bento

    If he's going to be graded, I want some of the credit.


  7. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: grab a bento

    If it's going to be graded, the OP needs to tell the competition judges that almost every single paragraph has been rewritten by teachers and native speakers. I consider it to be cheating in a competition. Thread closed.

    Edit: Thread reopened - it turns out the OP is an ESL teacher looking for help in correcting the students' work and this is one of the pieces. I have asked the OP to amend their member profile to make it clear he/she is a teacher, to avoid such misunderstandings again.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 27-Aug-2014 at 07:33.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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