Results 1 to 5 of 5
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Colombia
      • Current Location:
      • Colombia

    • Join Date: Aug 2014
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    What childhood means for me

    Childhood

    Childhood means to me some bittersweets experiences. When I was four years old my father was murdered. After that, my mother, brother and I moved to Ecuador but we didn’t spend a lot of time there for disagreeable happenings and we went back. I had a lot of friend here, I remember myself making a pair of binoculars with toilet roll tube and hearing my brother telling me “that’s awesome”.
    Once I was playing blind man’s buff with my neighbors I end up injured. I hated when my mother told me “its 7 p.m. get in” but I moved and didn’t have friend anymore. My mother converted to Christianity since then she always told me “be careful with the friendships”.
    Last edited by Marianmr; 24-Aug-2014 at 21:39.

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,085
    #2

    Re: What childhood means for me

    That needs a lot of work.

    Perhaps:

    When I was four years old my father was murdered. After that, my mother, brother and I moved to Ecuador.



    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Vietnamese
      • Home Country:
      • Vietnam
      • Current Location:
      • Vietnam

    • Join Date: Aug 2014
    • Posts: 5
    #3

    Re: What childhood means for me

    "When I was four years old my father was murdered"

    I think it must be has a commas:

    When I was four years old, my father was murdered.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,085
    #4

    Re: What childhood means for me

    Mirianmr:


    Space between paragraphs. Make more, shorter sentences.

    I am not supposed to do your homework.

    Nancy, you picked one of his best sentences to fix. Also, it should be: "I think that sentence needs a comma."


  3. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,085
    #5

    Re: What childhood means for me

    Nancy, are you Vietnamese? (I met somebody from Vietnam once.)


Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 31-Jul-2014, 11:53
  2. Since her childhood
    By Bassim in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-May-2014, 01:08
  3. [Grammar] since childhood/from childhood
    By Encolpius in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 26-Nov-2009, 13:57
  4. [Essay] My Childhood
    By nellymar in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 26-Oct-2008, 02:38
  5. childhood
    By peter123 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 18-Oct-2008, 09:28

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •