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  1. #1
    ferdhy is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Catalan
      • Home Country:
      • Spain
      • Current Location:
      • UK
    Join Date
    Jun 2014

    please, help me correct my cover letter

    Hi everyone, I've just finished my cover letter for a job. Could you please take a look and let me know about the mistakes you find? thanks in advance.

    Dear Mrs _______,

    I am writing to express my interest in the Deputy manager position available at _________ Afterschool club.
    After working four years as a playworker I believe I have the experience and knowledge of the club to successfully carry out a more responsibility role. During this time I have broadly developed my skills as a playworker but also gained knowledge of other aspects related to organization and leadership. Occasionally, I have provided support to the management in terms of planning activities, introducing and assisting new staff as well as liaising with parents and school staff.
    I think I have proven to possess good communication and social skills to deal with children and parents. Even though working an afterschool club can be stressful at times, I always maintain a calm and friendly attitude. I consider myself a creative and imaginative person but also firm and consistent in setting rules and complying with them. I am also highly aware of the safety policies and procedures of the company.
    In addition, the fact that I know the club very well makes me feel both confident and very motivated to approach this new challenge with hard work and commitment.
    I hope you consider me for this position. I have enclosed a copy of my CV for your information. I am available to attend an interview at any time convenient for you. I hope to hear from you in due course.

    Yours sincerely,

  2. #2
    koka001 is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Georgian
      • Home Country:
      • Georgia
      • Current Location:
      • Georgia
    Join Date
    Aug 2014

    Re: please, help me correct my cover letter

    Please help me and corrects me errors, Poorly know English, please help me i want it urgently

    Motivation Letter
    Your Name: Koka Kotia
    Private number: 29001035823
    MA Registration Number: 401013985
    E-mail address:
    Telephone number: 599107754
    Dear sirs,
    I wish to apply to the Master of Business Administration program at Ilia State University for the 2014 autumn intake. This program is a solid step towards my future career as a businessperson who understands and appreciates science and technology. The master program of your university is the best instrument to deepen my knowledge in the relevant fields of business administration and to succeed in achieving my goal.
    There are three key reasons why I want to study at this program. First, I selected your program because of its primary focus on business with the expectation that students already possess a strong understanding of science. Second, a fellow student of the program, has provided me with his thoughts about the program. From our conversations, I became excited to learn about the courses such as management. And last, I wish to grow to be a manager who can combine the science of technology with the art of management. Aside from the favorable learning environment of Ilia State University, I most enjoyed its academic freedoms and active pluralism. The Economist has a unique vision of the world of style. My goal is to develop and refine our thinking in this style as possible, to give a wider scope of my education. It means a chance to see some in-depth theoretical and practical issues, which I'm sure will play a key role in the master's degree.
    My future plan next five year is to start a career as Business Analyst. The master program of your university is the best instrument to deepen my knowledge in the relevant fields of managment and information technology and to succeed in achieving my goal. It furthermore provides the chance to study in an international environment which will be important for enhancing my intercultural competence and language skills.
    I believe that this Master Program will contribute to the evolution of my career as it suits perfectly with my future goals, It also would allow me to develop my skills. I am sure that studying the courses included in this Master Program will let me better understand how to take strategic decisions and how to provide competitive responses. Ilia State University graduate program provides the specific knowledge and skills that are essential to achieving these goals. I hope that I will become a worthy member of the ISU academic environment.

    I want to write about one problems of export, which is very important for our country. Specifically, I would like to draw your attention to the fruit and vegetable exports. Georgian fruit and vegetables sold in local markets due to low demand complicated. Export fewer products undergo a major reason for the Russian market halt. I think first of all it is necessary to solve this problem is to open up the EU market, otherwise it will be a local problem. The Russian market is closed for us, in my opinion superior to the EU market. The consumer market for Georgian products is not satisfactory. Importantly, the political will is there. Construction of cold storage facility will allow us to keep the fruits of the season and in the winter to export. I think we need to develop an export program that will protect the local market and farmers.

    Thank you for your attention and consideration. I look forward to your acceptance.

    Yours sincerely, Date: 27.08.2014
    Koka Kotia

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