Best wishes on your academic journey!Please help me and corrects me errors, Poorly know English, please help me i want it urgently
Date: 27.08.2014 [date at top]
Your Name: Koka Kotia
Private number: 29001035823
MA Registration Number: 401013985
E-mail address: EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead
Telephone number: 599107754
I wish to apply to the Master of Business Administration program at Ilia State University for the 2014 autumn semester. This program is a solid step towards my future career as a businessperson who understands and appreciates science and technology. The masters program of your university is the best instrument to deepen my knowledge in the relevant fields of business administration and to succeed in achieving my goal.
[New paragraph] There are three key reasons why I want to study at this program. First, I selected your program because of its primary focus on business, [comma] with the expectation that students already possess a strong understanding of science. Second, a fellow student of the program [no comma] has provided me with his thoughts about the program. From our conversations, I was excited to learn about the courses, [comma] such as management. And last, I wish to grow to be a manager who can combine the science of technology with the art of management. Aside from the favorable learning environment of Ilia State University, I most enjoyed its academic freedoms and active pluralism. The Economist has a unique vision of the world of style. My goal is to develop and refine our thinking in this style as possible, to give a wider scope of my education. It means a chance to see some in-depth theoretical and practical issues, which I'm sure will play a key role in the master's degree.
My future plan for the next five years is to start a career as a business analyst [not a proper noun]. The master program of your university is the best instrument to deepen my knowledge in the relevant fields of managment and information technology and to succeed in achieving my goal. It furthermore provides the chance to study in an international environment, [comma] which will be important for enhancing my intercultural competence and language skills.
I want to write about one problem [one is singular] of export that [no comma] is very important for our country. Specifically, I would like to draw your attention to [no the] fruit and vegetable exports. Georgian fruit and vegetables sales in local markets are complicated due to low demand. The export of fewer products is a major reason for the Russian market closure. I think first of all that to solve this problem, it is necessary to open up the EU market. Otherwise it will be a local problem. The Russian market that is closed for us is, in my opinion, [comma] superior to the EU market. The consumer market for Georgian products is not satisfactory. Importantly, the political will is there. Construction of cold storage facilities will allow us to keep the fruits when they are in season and export them in the winter. I think we need to develop an export program that will protect the local market and farmers.
[Put this paragraph here:] I believe that this masters program [not a proper noun] will contribute to the evolution of my career, [comma] as it suits perfectly [no "with" - either "suits perfectly my" or "fits perfectly with my"] my future goals. [period] It also would allow me to develop my skills. I am sure that studying the courses included in this masters program will let me better understand how to make strategic decisions and how to provide competitive responses. The Ilia State University graduate program provides the specific knowledge and skills that are essential to achieving these goals. I hope that I will become a worthy member of the ISU academic environment.
Thank you for your attention and consideration. I look forward to your acceptance.
Student or Learner