Could you please check my pronunciation?

[Poison Girl]

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VKHrNRK8MC

Here's what I say:

There was a king who had twelve beautiful daughters. They slept in twelve beds all in one room; and when they went to bed, the doors were shut and locked up; but every morning their shoes were found to be quite worn through as if they had been danced in all night; and yet nobody could find out how it happened, or where they had been.
Then the king made it known to all the land, that if any person could discover the secret, and find out where it was that the princesses danced in the night, he should have the one he liked best for his wife, and should be king after his death; but whoever tried and did not succeed, after three days and nights, should be put to death.

 

[Roman55]

I am not a teacher.

I find your accent quite charming. The vowel sounds are typical of native Italian speakers and I find it easy enough to understand. I notice that you didn't stick entirely to the text, though. Was that just to see whether we were paying attention?

 

[Poison Girl]

Lol, I actually didn't realize I gave you the wrong text Here's the correct one:

There was a king who had twelve beautiful daughters. They slept in twelve beds all in one room; and when they went to bed, the doors were shut and locked up; but every morning their shoes were found to be quite worn through as if they had been danced in all night; and yet nobody could find out how it happened, or where they had been.
Then the king made it known to all the land, that if any person could discover the secret, and find out where it was that the princesses danced in the night, he should have the one he liked best for his wife, and should be king after his death; but whoever tried and did not succeed, after three days and nights, should be put to death.

 

[Tdol]

It's easy enough to follow. If you want to work on something- look at intonation as you tend to give too much stress to some sounds.