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    #1

    My IELTS essay about Happiness

    Hello everyone
    I tried to write an IELTS essay, please if you have time, take close look and tell me what do you think.



    Question:(Cambridge IELTS 4, page 55):
    Happiness is considered very important in life.
    Why is it difficult to define?
    What factors are important in achieving happiness?

    Happiness is considered as an aim for every humain on earth. It is indeed a shared goal, yet still defficult to define because it means different things to different people and there are many contributers in achieving a sense of it.


    Happiness has a relative meaning to each one of us. Some people relate it to being wealthy, so they spend their entire lives stuck in careers which provide a lot of money but very less means of rest and recreation. while others relate it to a deeper meaning like being healthy and having a supporting family with successful children. others may draw a sense of happiness from having a feeling of excitement when practicing their favorite hobby like: exploring the world by traveling, learning new languages, reading novels or going out with friends. these are different forms of happiness which makes it a very wide concept of life.


    while it is hard for people to come to a same conclusion on the issue of happiness, a range of common needs are considered to be important in achieving happiness. First one needs to see the joy even in small things in life in order to be satisfied. For instance: we need to have money which is affordable for a living and for our needs, to have a loving surroundings, we also need to think wisely about the way we care about our health and to practice what we love most in our free time. another important factor should be dedicating a small portion of our lives to the sake of helping others and drwing a smile in desperate faces.


    In conclusion, even though it is hard to define happiness in one simple way, one can still consider a balanced combination of ideas which can make their lives happier.

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: My IELTS essay about Happiness

    Quote Originally Posted by nooryusuf View Post
    Happiness is considered as an aim for every humain on earth.
    Rephrase that using everyday words. (In fact, that advice might apply to the whole thing.)


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    #3

    Re: My IELTS essay about Happiness

    Hi Tarheel
    Thanks for your reply.
    Is my sentence that complicated? I think I didn t use any strange word, isn t it?

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: My IELTS essay about Happiness

    Quote Originally Posted by nooryusuf View Post
    Hi Tarheel
    Thanks for your reply.
    Is my sentence that complicated? I I didn't use any strange words, did I?
    Well, I suppose I can give you a few examples of that I mean. (See next post.)


  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: My IELTS essay about Happiness

    Quote Originally Posted by nooryusuf View Post
    Happiness is considered as an aim for every humain on earth. It is indeed a shared goal, yet still defficult to define because it means different things to different people and there are many contributers in achieving a sense of it.

    Everybody wants to be happy.


    Quote Originally Posted by nooryusuf View Post
    Happiness has a relative meaning to each one of us.
    Happiness means different things to different people.

    Quote Originally Posted by nooryusuf View Post
    Some people relate it to being wealthy,
    Some people think money will make them happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by nooryusuf View Post
    so they spend their entire lives stuck in careers
    So they dedicate their lives to careers which leads to them making a lot of money. But the happiness they sought eludes them.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Do you get the idea? Simplify! (Please don't use the term a very wide concept of life.(If you are going to make up a phrase it is best that you explain it to people, but you probably shouldn't do that anyway.)


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