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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy

    • Join Date: Sep 2014
    • Posts: 3
    #1

    Post mail correction

    Hello! Please, can I ask you to read the following mail to check if there is any error in it? I have attached also the original message


    Good afternoon Mrs [surname removed by moderator],

    Thank you for your kind reply. Since I am a foreigner and since I am starting out in this career, I would like to gain as much experience as possible. For that reason, I hope I can spend at least a few days in your school, but it would be exciting for me to have the opportunity to observe lessons and stay in your school for a longer period of time.

    My wish is to start as soon as possible, but any date you would suggest works for me. Even if I am living in Sardinia right now, I will be available in a few days if you are interested in.

    Obviously, it would be an honor to have the possibility of working with you and improve my knowledge about the work of teaching and the school environment.

    I look forward to hearing to your reply.

    Kind regards
    [Removed personal information - Moderator]






    On 15/set/2014, at 20.22, arhodes@astleyhigh.org wrote:


    Good evening [removed personal information],
    Thank you for your e mail requesting the opportunity to observe lessons in school. Please can you confirm for us what commitment you can give with regard to time?

    When were you thinking?

    Also, would you be interested in working with and supporting GCSE and A Level students in preparation for external exams?

    I look forward to hearing from you soon
    Kind regards
    [removed personal information]


    I will be grateful for any correction, suggestion or feedback you will send to me. Thanks
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 16-Sep-2014 at 21:17. Reason: Made font bigger so it's readable and removed personal info

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
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      • United States
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      • United States

    • Join Date: Apr 2009
    • Posts: 12,307
    #2

    Re: mail correction

    Are you living in Sardinia right now?

    • Member Info
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      • Italian
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      • Italy
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    • Posts: 3
    #3

    Re: mail correction

    Quote Originally Posted by SoothingDave View Post
    Are you living in Sardinia right now?
    Yes, I do.

    • Member Info
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      • American English
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      • United States
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      • United States

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    #4

    Re: mail correction

    Then it's not "even if I live in Sardinia." It's "even though."

    And lose the "in" at the end of that sentence, too.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy

    • Join Date: Sep 2014
    • Posts: 3
    #5

    Re: mail correction

    Thank you. Is there any other correction that I have to do?

  1. tzfujimino's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Japanese
      • Home Country:
      • Japan
      • Current Location:
      • Japan

    • Join Date: Dec 2007
    • Posts: 2,697
    #6

    Re: mail correction

    Hello, andreP89.
    I'd like to suggest that you change 'I look forward to hearing to your reply' to 'I look forward to your reply'.
    If you wish to use 'hearing', then it should be 'I look forward to hearing from you' or 'I look forward to hearing your reply ( - 'to' should be deleted to make it grammatical)'.

    I hope my response will be helpful.
    Last edited by tzfujimino; 16-Sep-2014 at 17:05.

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