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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Tunisia
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Sep 2014
    • Posts: 2
    #1

    Description of products for mobile game

    Apologies for the duplicate, I'm new in the forum and I just thought asking my question under the "Ask a Teacher" section would be more relevant. Back to the subject, I'm currently building an iOS simple puzzle game and trying to write descriptions for my 3 In-App-Purchase products. I need to make them sound professional and explicit while keeping them short and simple, which doesn't seem to be the case in my current essays. Following are my 3 descriptions:

    Remove Ads: This upgrade clears all the ads from the game for a better user experience.

    This upgrade is non-consumable, it remains available indefinitely on all of the userís devices, and is recoverable even after removal of the app.

    Purchase this upgrade for only $0.99!

    __________________________________________________ _______

    Unlimited Hints: This upgrade unlocks unlimited hints for all puzzles so you can use them whenever you wish with no limit.

    This upgrade also clears all ads for a better user experience. Moreover it is non-consumable, it remains available indefinitely on all of the userís devices, and is recoverable even after removal of the app.

    Purchase this upgrade for only $1.99!

    __________________________________________________ ________

    How To Unblock Me: Are you curious how's your device generating optimized hints to solve puzzles? This upgrade unlocks our unique "How to Unblock Me" feature which offers a graphical simulation that can operate with any puzzle to walk you through the automated steps your device runs to generate optimized hints. The simulation is interactive and does not require any particular knowledge, we have spent a lot of time and effort to design an extremely intuitive simulation of our state of the art automated solver so to provide our users with a mindset of patterns that can significantly improve their solving skills.

    This upgrade also includes unlimited hints and removes all ads. Moreover it is non-consumable, it remains available indefinitely on all of the userís devices, and is recoverable even after removal of the app.

    Purchase this upgrade for only $2.99!

    __________________________________________________ __________


    I need some help to tune the above descriptions and make them look more professional.

    Your help would be most appreciated!

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • England

    • Join Date: Jun 2010
    • Posts: 24,479
    #2

    Re: Description of products for mobile game

    I need some help to tune the above descriptions and make them look more professional.
    As you are hoping to make money from your game, you need to pay a professional copy editor to do that.

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