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    #1

    Proper Grammar

    I'm creating a motivational CD and I'm looking for a good initial pitch. Please let me know if this grammar is OK, if not then could you instruct me on a better grammar usage:

    Do you ever wonder how Millionaires think that made them a Millionaire? Well let me congratulate you for taking this huge step to become a 7 figure income earner that you absolutely deserve. The purpose of this audio material is to help you visualize, memorize, and manifest the energy as if you are the millionaire entrepreneur that is reciting these affirmations.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Proper Grammar

    There is no reason to capitalise "millionaire".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: Proper Grammar

    I am not sure how you memorize energy.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Proper Grammar

    I would say "... the entrepreneur who is reciting these affirmations".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #5

    Re: Proper Grammar

    I would write it as below:

    Do you ever wonder how millionaires think that made them a millionaire? Well, let me congratulate you for taking this huge step to become a seven-figure income earner that you absolutely deserve. The purpose of this audio material is to help you visualize, memorize, and manifest the energy as if you are the millionaire entrepreneur who is reciting these affirmations.

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    #6

    Re: Proper Grammar

    That's why I'm selling the Audio material. Download a copy and you'll know how.

  3. Raymott's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Proper Grammar

    " ... become a 7 figure income earner that you absolutely deserve."
    How can you deserve a 7 figure income earner? Do you mean "... absolutely deserve to be"?
    Also, I'd put somewhere, "Do you want to become a millionaire like me?" (I'm assuming you have some natural authority for writing the materials.)

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Proper Grammar

    Quote Originally Posted by cgd926 View Post
    I'm creating a motivational CD and I'm looking for a good initial pitch. Please let me know if this grammar is OK, if not then could you instruct me on a better grammar usage:

    Do you ever wonder how Millionaires think that made them a Millionaire? Well let me congratulate you for taking this huge step to become a 7 figure income earner that you absolutely deserve. The purpose of this audio material is to help you visualize, memorize, and manifest the energy as if you are the millionaire entrepreneur that is reciting these affirmations.
    I would write:

    Do you ever wonder what it is about how millionaires think which made them/helped make them a millionaire? Well, let me congratulate you on taking this huge step towards attaining that 7-figure income that you absolutely deserve. The purpose of this audio material is to help you, by reciting affirmations, to visualise, memorise, and manifest energy as if you are already a millionaire entrepreneur.

    I don't see how you can memorise energy either. I have no intention of buying or downloading anything in order to find out. You are expecting us to help you with your pitch. You need to be prepared to help us by explaining what you mean by certain phrases. Without knowing what you mean, it's hard to help you.

    One more point - for me, a millionaire isn't necessarily someone whose income is at seven figures. It is someone who is worth at least a million pounds/dollars etc. A millionaire can simply be someone who won a million on the lottery and hasn't spent it!
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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