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    [Need Suggestion] - IELTS Writing Task I

    Hi folks,
    Sorry if I put my essay in wrong thread. I need your help to assess my writing. Any input or suggestions I would appreciate.
    NB : Picture already attached.

    The line graph depicts the percentage of UK population over 4 years who use both TV and radio in particular time of day during the period October – December 1992. Generally, both showed a fluctuation, and at the end of the time dropped.

    A glance at TV graph, started 0% at 6 noon and rose for the next two years around 8%. There was a slight fall between 8 and 1.30 noon before encountering a dramatic rise unto 48% at 8 PM. For the next six hours, TV plunged at around 2% and remained stable afterwards.

    On the other hand, radio showed a different commencement, about 8% at 6 noon, and over 8 o’clock peaked approximately 29%. There was a cross, however, between 12.00-2.00 noon in position of 15%. Before at 2 midnight, radio went down dramatically, and met for the second time with TV in the middle of 2.00-4.00 PM about 2%. Radio reflected the same progression as television at the end of period.

    --- END ---

    Thank you
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Writing I TV_Radio.jpg  

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