Hi, I'm going to take my first IELTS exam soon and I'm practicing writing module on IELTS. Could you help me estimates band that I expected to got with below essay please ?

It's might not complexible enough for academic writing but I write as of my idea and this is my first doing on IELTS test. Thanks very much.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

How to be good members of society is the most important lesson in our life. As we are humans and a human needs activities between each individual such as talking between people, playing a sport game in team together and joining to a group of people. However, there is a question that which place and who is better to teach their lesson to children ? Parents at their home or teachers at their school ?

Everyday, people are having activity between each individual likes playing a football games together, discussing a topics in class, having lunch with a classmates, working together with colleagues, etc. As each one came from different place and different background, to be a good member of every society would helped us to be fitted with different people and not tending to make a conflict. Thus, it affected relationships between members of society.

In my opinion, to teach children how to be good members of society should be a combination between teacher teach them at school and parent help to improve them at home. At the school, there are another children in class together and teacher need to teach them about to respect each other person rights. Teaching for this topics could be done by many activity. For example, a sport activity or a discuss sessions. As same as at home, parents should teach them about their rights and not to against another one rights. To teach them this kind of things, it could be done in typical life such as to parking the cars in their own garage or spaces. Not to park our own cars in another one spaces.

In conclusion, teaching children how to be good members of society should be done at both home and school as there are many different lessons to be teach. Some of them couldn’t done at home and some couldn’t done at school also.