[Essay] Could you please correct my essay? (IELTS Writing Task 2)

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adeldalal

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Task: More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine.
Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world.


In the last decade there has been a considerable debate over the restriction of migration flow. Some object that so-called“brain drain", has a harmful impact on countries, where qualified people are moving from. Others advocate that following phenomenon is a natural part of globalization processes. In my opinion, there are strong arguments for both sides.


First of all, the movement of professionals may be caused by a high level of poverty in areas they were educated in. There are no funding and scholarships for bachelor and master programs and research. It is quite obvious that graduated people are demanding for further development in different scientific fields and their merits should be evaluated respectively. As a result, they are searching for better conditions in developed areas such as Canada, the United States and Western Europe.


On the other hand, such a phenomenon can provide negative consequences for areas characterized by a low level of national well-being. For the economies already suffering from external and internal factors a lack of educated people can become crucial. Syria is an apparent example of country where one of the highest level of education, precisely, in medicine is offered by the state. However, the investments received by universities can not be taken back due to the horrible living conditions.


In conclusion, I would suggest that governments should take care of migration processes by making a positive environment for high-qualified specialists. This could be achieved by increasing salaries or providing facilities.
 

bhaisahab

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Have you submitted this to your teacher?
 

adeldalal

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I prepare by self study
 
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