It's been a while since I wrote an essay and I know my skills have deteriorated. Please help me as much as you can with this, both positive and negative comments are greatly appreciated. I'm also stuck on what to write for a conclusion. Ideas?
(Also, if you could help me shorten up the essay, that would be appreciated as well. It needs to be 500 words with another essay combined, so as short as possible would be great)

Here's the prompt: What qualities or unique characteristics do you posses that would allow you to contribute to the UCF community?

The University of Central Florida’s creed highlights integrity, scholarship, and community. These valuable attributes are what make up the ideal UCF student. From leading my local youth group, I have learned integrity, and from attending a Leadership Medical academy, I have learned scholarship.
Through the struggles of life’s demands, many become overwhelmed and are faced with desperation, in which copious amount of individuals find their guidance through the church. As a woman of integrity, taking part of the leadership team in the St. Jude’s Church youth group, I am trusted with the responsibility to direct the ones in need. Allowing myself to find a way in helping such individuals with drugs, family conflicts, even jail time, in their past—such as personal counseling—in need requires divergent thinking. Honesty and morals are the strongest qualities valued from the community and each Friday as we come together once again, I gradually gain more.
In my track of achieving higher education, I have obtained the opportunity to attend St. George’s University Summer Medical Leadership Academy, a program designed for students with a desire to pursue a career in the health-care profession. As directors, their goal was to give us—the scholars—a vivid outlook on what it means to be a medical student. From waking up each morning as the clock stroked six, to ultimately arriving to the dorms after sixteen successive hours of academic work. Us students were given a mission to solve a medical case by the end of the program. Utilizing my utter free time, which consisted only of meal times and relinquishing hours of sleep, allowed me to conquest my academic mission and receive the honorable award of “Best Medical Presentation.” This summer’s experience has proved to be, according by the creed, one of the qualities UCF values most highly, “to cherish and honor learning as a fundamental purpose of my membership in the UCF community.”