Interested in Language
Suppose my wife and I quarrel about trifles. I am forgetful about switching off the light in the house. My wife knows that but I try to turn the whole situation into a joke and say that she is responsible for leaving the lights on in the entire house. She becomes red with anger and says "I would have to be called (my name) or my name would have to be (my name)? What is the right way of expressing the thought in English?
You: You are responsible for leaving all the lights on!
Wife: If my name was JACEK1, I might be!