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      • Native Language:
      • Hindi
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      • India
      • Current Location:
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    • Join Date: Nov 2014
    • Posts: 2
    #1

    Kindly check my Essay and suggest if any changes is require.

    My favorite movie is "A Walk To Remember". This is my favorite movie because it deals with real life issues, like some of the most important things in life such as: love, relationships, and most important, who your real friends are. "A Walk To Remember is about a girl named Jamie (Mandy Moore) who is the daughter of a minister who becomes ill. During high school Jamie doesn't have very many friends but is in alot of activities and through that she meets a reckless boy named Landon. Landon Played a lead role as did Jamie, even though they didn't hang out in the same crowd of friends when Landon needed help with his lines in the play he turned to Jamie to help him out. Londan fall in love with her. But,Jamie finally told Landon that she had cancer and the treatment stoped working so she didn't have very much time to live. Jamie had this list of accomplisments that she wanted to make before she passed. The number one thing was to get married at the same church that her mother and father was married in. Landon made ALL of her dreams come true. But unfortunitally her cancer became worse and she died. I liked this movie and I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes heart touching stories,

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
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      • United States
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    • Join Date: Dec 2009
    • Posts: 6,332
    #2

    Re: Kindly check my Essay and suggest if any changes is require.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rakesh Giri View Post
    My favorite movie is "A Walk To Remember" because it deals with some of the most important things in life, such as love and relationships. "A Walk To Remember" is about a girl named Jamie (Mandy Moore) who becomes ill. During high school Jamie doesn't have many friends but is involved in many school activities. She meets a reckless boy named Landon. Even though they don't hang out in the same crowd, when Landon needs help he turns to Jamie. When Landon falls in love with her, Jamie finally tells him that she has cancer and doesn't have much time to live. Jamie's biggest dream was to get married at the church where her father and mother were married. Landon marries her there. Unfortunately, her cancer worsens and she dies. I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes heartwarming stories.
    ***** NOT A TEACHER *****

    Hello,

    I think that you have done a very good job.

    I have made a few suggested changes (above).

    May I respectfully point out two things:

    1. Writing teachers tell us to "tighten" our writing. That is to say, we should delete (erase) unnecessary words.

    2. Movie reviews, I believe, are usually written in the present tense.



    James

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