Review My Cover Letter for Erasmus Mundus Scholarship

[bassam123]

x

[Tarheel]

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to you to express my utmost interest and motivation to apply for the Erasmus Mundus Master’s Program in Information Technology for Business Intelligence, scheduled to start on September, 2015. Upon researching it, I was delighted to see that you have the courses I am most interested in, and I truly appreciate this opportunity to study in the field of Business Intelligence, particularly Data Warehousing, Data Mining for Knowledge Discovery and Decision Making. I look forward to pursue a graduate degree in Information Technology from a world-class scholarship program like this because not only it would allow me to expand my knowledge also it would help me to obtain my eventual objective of taking up research-oriented career in this specific field which as a result will assist me to serve my country afterwards.

My name is Mohammad Raqif Bassam. I am a tech-addict guy from Dhaka, Bangladesh. I have completed my undergraduate program in Computer Science and Software Engineering from American International University - Bangladesh (AIUB), one of the most renowned education institutes in the country. It is the place from where I started my exposure to Computer Science. The excellent state-of-the-art conveniences, courses and highly competent faculties made me able to hold a firm background of fundamentals in Computer Science today. My consistent determination and attentiveness in Computer Science was reflected in my studies, resulting in a CGPA of 3.95 with 4.0 being the highest possible grade. Besides as a student, I was awarded with prestigious award called ‘Summa Cum Laude’ which is a distinction for my academic performance. For achieving remarkable grades in my undergraduate courses, I was selected as one of the meritorious students and got stipend of 75% tuition fee waiver for my studies.

Pick top, best, or most renowned. In any case, choose one. (More later.)

[Tarheel]

Having been exposed to the various facets of Computer Science in the course of my undergraduate studies, I have found Information Technology intellectually most satisfying and stimulating. Courses such as Object Oriented Programming (with Java & .Net), Algorithm, Data Structure, Database, Data Mining and Data Warehousing, Software Engineering and Web Technologies have been my firm favorites. Especially database courses like Introduction to Database Management systems, Data Mining and Data Warehousing influenced me a lot after learning things like where the vast data is being stored, and being retrieved in no time, when we need it and making use of it to generate knowledge for decision making purposes. I find the problems in Information Technology particularly appealing because of the flavor of database management that I like to explore. That is what kept me interested in database. During my academic life, I was involved with various extracurricular activities including programming contests and system designing contests. As a contestant I have learned different algorithms and problem solving techniques in addition to my regular courses.

You don't need to capitalize computer science when it is not a proper noun (as part of a name of a course, for example).

(This is making my head hurt. )

[Tarheel]

I did my undergraduate thesis on ‘Image Processing’ entitled ‘An Iterative Approach for Detecting Floating Objects on Water Bed using Image Processing’. It was a group thesis and my first research initiative. The thesis enriched my knowledge on research methodologies and significantly extended my ability to perform research activities and writing research papers. As a result of our research initiative, this thesis has been selected as one of the best theses in the computer science department which earned the ‘Vice Chancellor’s Gold Award’ during my convocation that encouraged me towards further research activities.

I am utilizing my consolidated knowledge in my professional life as well. I have done a part-time job and a three months internship as a Student Assistant (Programmer) at IT department (Software Division), previously under Virtual University Expert System (VUES), of American International University Bangladesh (AIUB). This is an in-house software development department of the institution. I have learned a lot from here especially on object oriented concept, design patterns and RDMS. After my graduation, based on my performance, I have been selected as a fulltime Junior Programmer at AIUB. Currently I am working as a software engineer with a highly professional development team. This job also provides me the opportunities to explore and implement various technologies that are being used to develop large Enterprise Resource Planning Solutions (ERP) in real life with various software methodologies. My job is to implement business logics based on the requirements and integrate it with the back-end of a particular system. After sighting my performance at work and development skills, I have got the fortuity to work as a part-time lecturer in addition to my current job, at Faculty of Science and Information Technology of this institution. The teaching courses include Programming Language 1 (C Programming), Computer Fundamentals and Introduction to Programming. Thanks to my faculty members, my team leader and my colleagues, the knowledge and work experience which I have gathered from this institution will apparently help me with studying IT4BI.

Am I supposed to know what you are talking about?

[bassam123]

Thx for the replying with corrected grammar. (that's what I meant). I have reshuffled my letter a bit using corrected grammar of urs and suggestions of faculties! I will re-post it again marking the section that have been changed compared to the previous one.

[bassam123]

x

[Tarheel]

What I meant by "Am I supposed to know what you are talking about?" is that this tech stuff goes right over my head. Anyhow, it's a good thing I don't have to understand it that well to make suggestions/corrections to this one. (As you know, I hadn't finished working on the original, but I guess I'm not supposed to.)

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to you to express my utmost interest and motivation to apply for the Erasmus Mundus Master’s Program in Information Technology for Business Intelligence, scheduled to start on September, 2015. Upon researching it, I was delighted to see that you have the courses I am most interested in and I truly appreciate this opportunity to study in the field of Business Intelligence, particularly Data Warehousing, Data Mining for Knowledge Discovery and Decision Making. I look forward to pursuing a graduate degree in Information Technology from a world-class program like this because not only it would allow me to expand my knowledge also it would help me to obtain my eventual objective of taking up a research-oriented career in this specific field which as a result will assist me to serve my country afterwards.

My name is Mohammad Raqif Bassam. I am a tech-addict guy from Dhaka, Bangladesh. Currently I am working as a Junior Programmer at IT Department (Software Division) of one of the most renowned education institutes in the country, American International University-Bangladesh (AIUB), with a highly professional development team. I joined AIUB in 2013 right after finishing my undergraduate studies. During the last three semesters of my undergraduate study I worked as a part-time Student Assistant (Programmer) in the same IT department (Software Division) and based on my performance I have been selected as a full time employee after completion of my Bachelor degree. I have learned a lot from here especially on object oriented concept, design patterns and RDMS. This job also provides me with opportunities to explore and implement various technologies that are being used to develop large Enterprise Resource Planning Solutions (ERP) in real life with various software methodologies. My job is to implement business logics based on the requirements and integrate it with the back-end of a particular system. After people saw how well I did on the job I got a job as a part-time lecturer in addition to my current job at department of Computer Science of this institution. The teaching courses include Programming Language 1 (C Programming), Computer Fundamentals and Introduction to Programming for non CS students.

Hopefully, the Wi-Fi won't go out before I'm finished.

[Tarheel]

I have completed my BSc. in Computer Science and Software Engineering from American International University - Bangladesh (AIUB). It is the place from where I started my exposure to computer science. The excellent state-of-the-art conveniences, courses and highly competent faculties made me able to develop a firm background of fundamentals in computer science. My consistent determination and interest in computer science was reflected in my studies, resulting in a CGPA of 3.95 with 4.0 being the highest possible grade. I have graduated with a prestigious award called ‘Summa Cum Laude’ which is a distinction for my academic performance. For achieving remarkable grades in my undergraduate courses, I was selected as one of the meritorious students and got stipend of 75% tuition fee waiver for my studies.

I don't think a stipend and a waiver are the same thing. In fact, I think you should choose one.

[Tarheel]

Having been exposed to the various facets of computer science in the course of my undergraduate studies, I have found Information Technology intellectually most satisfying and stimulating. Courses such as Object Oriented Programming (with Java & .Net), Algorithm, Data Structure, Database, Data Mining and Data Warehousing, Software Engineering and Web Technologies have been my firm favorites. Database courses like Introduction to Database Management systems, Data Mining and Data Warehousing influenced me a lot after learning things like where the vast data is being stored, and making use of it to generate knowledge for decision making purposes. I find the problems in Information Technology particularly appealing because of the flavor of database management that I like to explore. During my academic life, I was involved with various extracurricular activities including programming contests and system designing contests. As a contestant I have learned different algorithms and problem solving techniques in addition to my regular courses.

You don't have to say firm favorites. Instead, favorites is sufficient.

[Tarheel]

I wrote my undergraduate thesis on ‘Image Processing’ entitled ‘An Iterative Approach for Detecting Floating Objects on Water Bed using Image Processing’. It was a group thesis and my first research initiative. The thesis enriched my knowledge on research methodologies and significantly extended my ability to perform research activities and writing research papers. As a result of our research initiative, this thesis has been selected as one of the best theses in the computer science department which earned the ‘Vice Chancellor’s Gold Award’ during my convocation that encouraged me towards further research activities.

Considering the real-world projects I have worked on so far and utilizing my consolidated knowledge, I realized the importance of data in an industry and developed an active interest in the concepts of database management, data integration, data mining and their applications. The projects were database oriented and more inclined at the management of the information that a company can use to collect, store, manage and interpret data from many business activities. Here, I comprehend the importance of Business Intelligence, to generate knowledge from business data, which will help an organization to be more effective in the decision making process. I want to contribute positively to this process after gaining enough knowledge through study and research. In Bangladesh meanwhile IT industries are booming in the current business cycle. Bangladesh also stands third in Asia in IT competencies after India and China according to Japan International Cooperation Agency. In the future, after completing my doctoral studies, as I mentioned above I wish to serve my country by applying intelligence in decision making to advance this particular field. All the facts that I have mentioned here stimulate the enthusiasm to learn more and do further research in this particular field.

Wow!