[Grammar] please help me to edit letter

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bhatt

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Hindi
Home Country
India
Current Location
UK
Dear sir/Madam

I would like to request that my work schedule be change from full time to part time from 1 Jan 2015 for temporarily basis

I have the responsibility for the childcare of my son(4 years 4 months) and my newly born daughter(3 months) and my wife wants start part time work.in order to meet my child care responsibilities(school drop off and pick up,helping with home work,doctors appointments for daughter etc)it would be too physically demanding emotionally draining and inconvinient for me to work full time while bringing up my child.

Specifically,i would like to work 2 on and 4 off shift pattern and would be willing to job share.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

sincerely
bhatt​


 

Grumpy

Senior Member
Joined
Aug 12, 2009
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Dear Sir/Madam

I would like to request that my work schedule be changed from full time to part time from 1 Jan 2015 on a temporarily basis

I am responsible for the care of my son (4 years 4 months) and my newly born daughter (3 months), and my wife wants to start part-time work. In order to meet my childcare responsibilities (school drop off and pick up, helping with homework, doctors' appointments for my daughter etc), it would be too physically demanding, emotionally draining and inconvenient for me to work full time while bringing up my children.

Specifically, I would like to work a 2 on and 4 off shift pattern, and would be willing to job share.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully
bhatt​


I have tried not to change the content of your letter too much.
 
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