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  1. Boris Tatarenko's Avatar
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    #1

    which covers the top of a bun

    Which one is correct and sounds better?

    My sentence:
    However, Moscow bun is the most common here. It is made with sweet dough and plenty of sugar, which covers the top of a bun, which shaped like a heart.

    My girlfriend insists that her version sounds better:

    However, the Moscow bun is the most common here. It is made with sweet dough and plenty of sugar, which covers the top of the bun, which is shaped like a heart.

    Thanks.
    Please, correct all my mistakes. I should know English perfectly and if you show me my mistakes I will achieve my dream a little bit faster. A lot of thanks.

    Not a teacher nor a native speaker.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: which covers the top of a bun

    Well, I like your girlfriend's version better, but I don't understand putting a bun on top of a bun.


  3. Boris Tatarenko's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: which covers the top of a bun

    We put a lot of sugar on the top of a bun.
    Please, correct all my mistakes. I should know English perfectly and if you show me my mistakes I will achieve my dream a little bit faster. A lot of thanks.

    Not a teacher nor a native speaker.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: which covers the top of a bun

    That must be bad for your teeth.


  5. riquecohen's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: which covers the top of a bun

    Quote Originally Posted by Boris Tatarenko View Post
    Which one is correct and sounds better?

    My sentence:
    However, Moscow bun is the most common here. It is made with sweet dough and plenty of sugar, which covers the top of a bun, which shaped like a heart.

    My girlfriend insists that her version sounds better:

    However, the Moscow bun is the most common here. It is made with sweet dough and plenty of sugar, which covers the top of the bun, which is shaped like a heart.

    Thanks.
    To avoid repetition of bun, I'd start with your girlfriend's version and end with "It is heart-shaped, made with sweet dough and the top is covered with plenty of sugar."
    Last edited by riquecohen; 07-Dec-2014 at 01:25.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: which covers the top of a bun

    In my case, any sugar on top of the bun would be too much.


  7. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: which covers the top of a bun

    You must lead a very exciting life.

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