Results 1 to 5 of 5
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Pashto, Pushto
      • Home Country:
      • Pakistan
      • Current Location:
      • Pakistan

    • Join Date: Dec 2014
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

    My name is [PERSONAL INFO REMOVED] and I am from Swat, Pakistan. I hold a [five-year] Bachelor's Degree in Veterinary and Animal Sciences from The University of Agriculture, Peshawar, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, Pakistan, with a GPA of 3.17 out of 4.00.I was amongst the top ten students of my class of 40 students. I have been, in the past, amongst the top rankers in the entrance tests conducted by the academic institution of my education.
    I was an active student during my undergraduate studies, involved in many curricular and extra-curricular events activities.

    Currently, I am working in Animal Health Clinic as a Veterinary Medical Practitioner and also worked in Early Recovery of Agriculture and Livelihood Program Swat, Pakistan (Italian Project) as a Veterinary Officer; where I gained extensive knowledge about Livestock and Poultry Management, Fisheries and Wildlife Management.

    I would like to study for the Master's Degree in Veterinary and Animal Sciences in china that’s why I have been looking for an opportunity to avail. My field of study is also my field of choice and interest and I intend to explore more about the hidden challenges to Veterinary and Animal Sciences in our Country. There is a great deal of genetic diversity in Pakistan and it is still un-explored. My Future ambitions include exploring the genetic diversity in animals for increasing meat and milk production through modern breeding approaches. I also intend to achieve the same objective of increasing white meat production by improving feed efficiency.
    I believe that this Masters Program would not only help to improve my qualification but would be helpful for my country also. Hopefully, when coming back to Pakistan, I will have chances to work for the country in the field of Veterinary and Animal Sciences . By this, I will be able to fulfill my dream - directing Pakistanis people to sustainable utilize natural resources in order to boost up our economy.
    Now the question arises, "Why China?" China’s rapid economic growth and diverse technological advancements are internationally recognized and are the main reasons for people to study in China. On top of that, education standards and the global ranking of Chinese universities are great reasons for choosing China as the base for my continuing education. I have a few friends studying in China and they are full of admiration for China and its universities, which is very encouraging. Moreover, China’s diverse cultural values and the friendly relationship between Pakistan and China make me feel as if China as is my second home. My family fully supports my choice of China for my further education. All these reasons put together make China an ideal place for me to do my Masters degree.

    I hope this application will receive your favorable consideration and I will be happy to meet you at your convenience and provide any additional information you may need. I look forward to receiving your reply.


    Waqas Ahmad
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 07-Dec-2014 at 00:38. Reason: Removed personal details

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,832
    #2

    Re: TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

    Welcome to the forum.

    Do you have a question for us?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,030
    #3

    Re: TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

    Be sure to make paragraph breaks, and space after (but not before) periods.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Australia
      • Current Location:
      • Australia

    • Join Date: Dec 2014
    • Posts: 42
    #4

    Re: TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

    I suggest you review the rules for capitalization as you have many inappropriately capitalized nouns.
    Do not use contractions in formal writing (that’s).
    "directing Pakistanis people to sustainable utilize natural resources in order to boost up our economy" > "assisting the Pakistani people to use natural resources sustainably in order to boost their economy" - Hmmm... does using resources sustainably boost economies?

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,030
    #5

    Re: TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

    It is normal to say:

    Would you look at my letter and make suggestions for improvements?

    If you want somebody to help you with your letter, then make the changes that have been suggested and post it after this post.



Similar Threads

  1. Concern
    By tufguy in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 13-Jul-2014, 08:36
  2. concern about
    By jasonlulu_2000 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 07-Apr-2014, 20:21
  3. To whom it may concern
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 15-Jul-2009, 19:34
  4. No concern of...
    By bud-bar in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09-Jan-2009, 20:40
  5. To whom it may concern:
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11-Dec-2008, 02:32

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •