Re: could you correct my (Personal Statement) please !
Originally Posted by HL_Learner
My dream since I was a student at the intermediate school has been to become a creative professor at university and an exceptional researcher. So, I have been working very hard to achieve my dream, and I know that I am on the way. After I got the bachelor's degree with a GPA of 3.5/4, I found myself ready to go abroad to study English more and then get the master degree. And, after a long search for the graduate programs available to study computer science in the American and Canadian institutes, I chose to apply to Computer Science MS Program. I read the overview and curriculum of the program, and I found it the ideal program for me.
I have acquired a lot of knowledge about computer science during the stages of my study especially in undergraduate, and I have completed a number of projects and research related to computer science. So, I hope to get the admission to this program to continue my learning journey. This program will develop my educational life stunningly, it will give me the opportunity to live in an English-language community, learn about a culture different from my own, improve my research skills, improve my technical skills and provide me with the suitable environment to go in depth of the computer science to be able to show my talents. I know that I have a lot of personal qualities that helped me much along my journey and will keep helping me. I have a goal and it is the most valuable thing in my life. I am so patient, hard-working, smart, active, ambitious and I don't know a thing called the despair.
What a wonderful feeling when you hear about something lots and lots and then find yourself about to get it. I've heard and read so much about USA, the country of science and civilization, and now I've got a full scholarship and I am applying to one of its best Institutes. I am really wishing to study at USF due to its long history, big achievements, perfect faculty members and high-skilled alumni. I've met one of USF's alumni, and I liked his high knowledge and technical skills, and I decided to attend USF. I will be so lucky and happy if I get the admitted to USF.
I rather like learning journey. However, depth of computer science makes no sense to me. Also, I don't see how a goal can be the most valuable thing in your life. (Try: I am goal-oriented, hard-working, smart, and ambitious.)