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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Need help for imporving one sentence

    Hi, everyone,

    I have a sentence describing a bar chart as below. Any suggestion will be appreciated. (Just clicking in the image, and it will be enlarged.)
    The chart as given above, a comparison between different numbers of urban residents and rural residents among 1990, 2000 and 2010, with a well-illustrated information reflecting an emigration phenomenon brought by urbanization (城镇化), entails mounting number of urban residents and dwindled number of rural residents, which are approximately from 300 million in 1990 to 600 million in 2010, and from 820 million to 680 million in the 2010 respectively.

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	lation.jpg 
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ID:	2006

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Need help for imporving one sentence

    Say:

    from 1990 to 2010

    Say:


    an increasing number of urban residents and a dwindling number of rural residents

    In fact, the mass movement of people from rural areas to urban areas is what urbanization is.


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    #3

    Re: Need help for imporving one sentence

    Hi, Tarheel,

    I have another question. can I change:

    ", which are approximately from 300 million in 1990 to 600 million in 2010, and from 820 million to 680 million in the 2010 respectively. "

    to

    ", which are approximately from 300 million to 600 million, and from 820 million to 680 million respectively. "

    ?

    Since I have the "among 1990,2000 and 2010.", it seems I don't need to introduce the time after that.
    Last edited by xobli; 09-Dec-2014 at 16:04.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Need help for imporving one sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by xobli View Post
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	lation.jpg 
Views:	7 
Size:	45.3 KB 
ID:	2006
    The above chart is a comparison of the numbers of urban residents and rural residents between 1990 and 2000 and 2000 and 2010.
    Sorry, but information cannot be illustrated.


  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Need help for imporving one sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by xobli View Post

    It shows an increasing number of urban residents and a dwindling number of rural residents.
    And it's a lot easier to tell what the numbers are by looking at the chart than by reading the text.


  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Need help for imporving one sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by xobli View Post
    The number of urban residents increased from about 300 million in 1990 to about 600 million in 2010, and the number of rural residents decreased from about 820 million in 1990 to about 680 million in 2010.
    I think that fixes it. (It was really confusing.)


  7. Newbie
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    #7

    Re: Need help for imporving one sentence

    Yes, I think it is much better.
    And is this sentence below also works?

    "Rural residents has increased from 300 million to 600 million from 1990 to 2010 while urban residents has decreased from 920 million
    to 680 million during that time."
    Last edited by xobli; 10-Dec-2014 at 08:57.

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    #8

    Re: Need help for imporving one sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by xobli View Post
    Yes, I think it is much better.
    And does this sentence below also work?

    "Rural residents has increased from 300 million to 600 million from 1990 to 2010 while urban residents has decreased from 920 million
    to 680 million during that time."
    No, it doesn't.

    The expressions I have underlined are completely ungrammatical.

  8. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: Need help for imporving one sentence

    The residents don't increase. It is the number of them that increases (or decreases).


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