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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Yoruba
      • Home Country:
      • Nigeria
      • Current Location:
      • Nigeria

    • Join Date: Dec 2014
    • Posts: 2
    #1

    [COVER LETTER] Kindly help review my cover letter

    Hello, I am apply for the Erasmus Mundus Scholarship in IT4BI. Kindly help review my cover for errors, content richness, order and arrangement, etc. Thank you.

    =========================================


    Dear Sir,

    I am excited to express my interest in the Erasmus Mundus Joint Masters Programme in Information Technology for Business Intelligence. I have completed a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science at the prestigious University of XXX, [Country] and am currently employed as a Software Developer with XXX Bank Plc. I believe strongly that my strong academic background, passion, and experience working in with huge transactional data make me a good candidate for the IT4BI Programme.

    Working as a solutions developer in a financial institution has introduced me to the complexities associated with dealing with very high volume of data and the grave importance of Business Intelligence as a catalyst for business growth, the essence of collecting and analyzing internal and external data to generate knowledge and value, providing decision support at the strategic, tactical and operational levels. I have been involved in a number of projects and more notably, was involved in the implementation of the SAS Anti-money laundering solution which analyses the transaction history of all customers while juxtaposing such with current transactions to preempt and report money laundering effort. I was directly responsible for the Extraction, Transformation, and Loading (ETL) process in the solution implementation and deployment. Additionally, I was directly involved in the implementation of a SharePoint based Enterprise Workflow System and SharePoint BI among others. These experiences have helped form my interest in Business Intelligence and Data Analytics. I have come to appreciate the beauty that lies behind (large) raw data waiting to be mined, transformed, and presented for intelligent decision making in ensuring a competitive advantage.

    I am currently enrolled in a 9 months Data Science Specialization course on Coursera. This is one of the most comprehensive Massive Open Online Course (MOOC) for Data Science. It include courses like R Programming, Data Cleanup, Machine Learning, Exploratory Data Analysis, Predictive Analysis, Reproducible Research, Regression Models, etc. Additionally, I have made it a habit to follow the smartdatacollective.com and other related Data Science blogs to keep abreast of the data analytics trends. The two-year IT4BI degree is exactly what I need to fully fulfil my passion for Business Intelligence as it will deliver the scientific and technological expertise needed to support the today and tomorrow's Business Intelligence systems.

    IT4BI is touted to have strong connections with research and industry and is delivered by a world-renowned consortium. Hence, I am prepared to excel under the tutelage and mentorship of the excellent faculty in the partner universities and the industry masters. I possess an impressive and unique ability to absolve knowledge and make the most use of such. This, I demonstrated during my undergraduate studies in Computer science, graduating with a very good GPA and twice appearing on the Dean's Roll of Honor list. My academic achievement is demonstrated by the different scholarships I received at the university level which ultimately enabled me pay tuition and supported me through school.

    I am particularly interested in the Service Oriented Business Intelligence. It will be interesting to learn how the strengths of two individual architectural paradigms is leveraged to form a powerful synergy. My previous experience in developing and consuming Web Services, and the adoption of the Service Oriented Architecture make it even better fit me.
    My goal is to pursue my studies in Business Intelligence into doctorate programme to be able to contribute to the research in Business Analytics, Information Integration, Collaboration and Privacy with the aim of solving the real world’s Business Intelligence challenges. More important, I will love to be able to contribute to the academic frontier of Business Intelligence in my home country.
    It will be a great opportunity to be considered a viable candidate for the IT4BI programme as I move towards actualizing my dream of participating in helping to make sense of, and solving the BIG data challenges.

    Regards.

    [Surname, Firstname]

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,006
    #2

    Re: [COVER LETTER] Kindly help review my cover letter

    Quote Originally Posted by adetayo.rabiu View Post
    Hello, I am applying for the Erasmus Mundus Scholarship in IT4BI. Kindly help review my cover for errors, content richness, order and arrangement, etc.
    OK

    =========================================


    Quote Originally Posted by adetayo.rabiu View Post
    Dear Sir,

    I am excited to express my interest in the Erasmus Mundus Joint Masters Programme in Information Technology for Business Intelligence. I have completed a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science at the prestigious University of XXX, [Country] and am currently employed as a Software Developer with XXX Bank Plc. I believe strongly that my strong academic background, passion, and experience working in with huge transactional data make me a good candidate for the IT4BI Programme.

    Working as a solutions developer in a financial institution has introduced me to the complexities associated with dealing with a very high volume of data and the grave importance of Business Intelligence as a catalyst for business growth, the essence of collecting and analyzing internal and external data to generate knowledge and value, providing decision support at the strategic, tactical and operational levels. I have been involved in a number of projects and, more notably, was involved in the implementation of the SAS Anti-money laundering solution which analyses the transaction history of all customers while juxtaposing such with current transactions to preempt and report money laundering efforts I was directly responsible for the Extraction, Transformation, and Loading (ETL) process in the solution implementation and deployment. Additionally, I was directly involved in the implementation of a SharePoint based Enterprise Workflow System and SharePoint BI among others. These experiences have helped form my interest in Business Intelligence and Data Analytics. I have come to appreciate the beauty that lies behind (large) raw data waiting to be mined, transformed, and presented for intelligent decision making in ensuring a competitive advantage.
    I don't think data can be either large or small. Also, don't capitalize course unless it is prt of the name of the course. (Hopefully, a moderator will be by soon to move this one to the appropriate section.)


    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Yoruba
      • Home Country:
      • Nigeria
      • Current Location:
      • Nigeria

    • Join Date: Dec 2014
    • Posts: 2
    #3

    Re: [COVER LETTER] Kindly help review my cover letter

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    OK

    =========================================




    I don't think data can be either large or small. Also, don't capitalize course unless it is prt of the name of the course. (Hopefully, a moderator will be by soon to move this one to the appropriate section.)


    =========================================
    Thank you Tarheel for the corrections. I really do appreciate.

    However, I noticed that you only touched or made corrections on the first two paragraphs. Is that a good thing? I meant, Should I assume that the remaining paragraphs are good and are without errors?

    Thank you once again.

    Regards

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,006
    #4

    Re: [COVER LETTER] Kindly help review my cover letter

    I was either running out of time or I wanted to do something else for a while. (1. Never assume anything. 2. This is the hardest sort of thing I do here.)

    Quote Originally Posted by adetayo.rabiu View Post


    Working as a solutions developer in a financial institution has introduced me to the complexities associated with dealing with a very high volume of data and the grave importance of Business Intelligence as a catalyst for business growth, the essence of collecting and analyzing internal and external data to generate knowledge and value, and providing decision support at the strategic, tactical and operational levels. I have been involved in a number of projects and, more notably, was involved in the implementation of the SAS Anti-money laundering solution which analyses the transaction history of all customers while juxtaposing such with current transactions to preempt and report money laundering efforts. I was directly responsible for the Extraction, Transformation, and Loading (ETL) process in the solution implementation and deployment. Additionally, I was directly involved in the implementation of a SharePoint based Enterprise Workflow System and SharePoint BI among others. These experiences have helped form my interest in Business Intelligence and Data Analytics. I have come to appreciate the beauty that lies behind (large) raw data waiting to be mined, transformed, and presented for intelligent decision making in ensuring a competitive advantage.

    I am currently enrolled in a 9-month data science specialization course on Coursera. This is one of the most comprehensive massive open online courses (MOOC) for Data Science. It include courses like R Programming, Data Cleanup, Machine Learning, Exploratory Data Analysis, Predictive Analysis, Reproducible Research, Regression Models, etc. Additionally, I have made it a habit to follow the smartdatacollective.com and other related Data Science blogs to keep abreast of the data analytics trends. The two-year IT4BI degree is exactly what I need to fully fulfill my passion for Business Intelligence as it will deliver the scientific and technological expertise needed to support the today's and tomorrow's Business Intelligence systems.

    IT4BI is touted to have strong connections with research and industry and is delivered by a world-renowned consortium. Hence, I am prepared to excel under the tutelage and mentorship of the excellent faculty in the partner universities and the industry masters. I possess an impressive and unique ability to absorb knowledge and make the best use of such. This I demonstrated during my undergraduate studies in Computer science, graduating with a very good GPA and twice appearing on the Dean's Roll of Honor list. My academic achievements were demonstrated by the different scholarships I received at the university level, which ultimately enabled me to pay my tuition and supported me throughout school.
    I believe it is either dean's list or ​honor roll, but not both at the same time.

    Quote Originally Posted by adetayo.rabiu View Post
    I am particularly interested in the Service Oriented Business Intelligence. It will be interesting to learn how the strengths of two individual architectural paradigms are leveraged to form a powerful synergy. My previous experience in developing and consuming Web Services, and the adoption of the Service Oriented Architecture make it an even better fit me. My goal is to pursue my studies in Business Intelligence into doctorate programme to be able to contribute to the research in Business Analytics, Information Integration, Collaboration and Privacy with the aim of solving the real world’s Business Intelligence challenges. More important, I would love to be able to contribute to the academic frontier of Business Intelligence in my home country.
    It might be an important thing, but I think you should leave that last sentence out. That is because I don't know what an academic frontier is or how anybody can contribute to it. (If you want another opinion you might PM Tdol or one of the moderators.)

    Quote Originally Posted by adetayo.rabiu View Post
    It will be a great opportunity to be considered a viable candidate for the IT4BI programme as I move towards actualizing my dream of participating in helping to make sense of, and solving the BIG data challenges.

    Regards.

    [Surname, Firstname]
    In my opinion, realizing would be better than actualizing there.


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