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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    I need help editing a love letter (It gets a bit sappy...)

    So, my boyfriend is a very intelligent, very grammar savvy guy, and I unfortunately am not. My studies are more in the medical field, and as far as spelling and grammar go I'm not the best. I wrote him a Christmas Love Letter that I am attaching to his gift, however I know that if there are grammatical errors within it, they will capture his attention and take away from the meaning of the letter!

    My biggest problem was the use of commas, or semi colons, in a big list-type format. I know semi colons should be in there somehow or somewhere (or then again, maybe not), but I'm not sure how to use them. It's only this one paragraph that I'm having trouble with, if someone could take the time to read it, and either fix it for me, or explain to me how to use the semicolons so I can fix it myself, that would be absolutely wonderful! I thank you in advance for your time.

    Here is the paragraph (sorry for the very romantic/personal nature!)

    The fact that you still walk me out to my car every time I leave, regardless of the weather, still amazes me and warms my heart, as does the fact that you come give me a kiss and a hug every time I walk through the door. The texts you send me throughout the day, just asking how I’m doing or how my day is going, how you stroke my hair in the morning when you wake up, and hold me tightly as we fall asleep, how you never refuse to give me a much too often requested back scratch, how you will take a trip to the store with me, just because I’d rather spend that twenty minutes in your company, how you’ll let me pick the song we play on the radio, how I’ve become quite used to (but never tired of!) the phrases: “You’re beautiful”, “I miss you.”, “I appreciate you.”, and “I love you.”, all of these little things you do to me, for me, and with me, they all mean something significant, each and every time.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: I need help editing a love letter (It gets a bit sappy...)

    Well, you use "the fact that" too much. Perhaps:

    I like it that....

    More later.


  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: I need help editing a love letter (It gets a bit sappy...)

    #I like it that you give me a kiss and a hug every time I walk through the door. I remember everything you do for me. I feel that deep down you really care. I'd rather be with you than any place else in the world. How much you care, and how much I love you for it. You are the most important part of my life. I always look forward to seeing you again. You make me feel wonderful.


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    #4

    Re: I need help editing a love letter (It gets a bit sappy...)

    'The fact that' has been used only twice but I agree, 'I like it that..' definitely sounds more endearing.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: I need help editing a love letter (It gets a bit sappy...)

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    'The fact that' has been used only twice but I agree, 'I like it that..' definitely sounds more endearing.
    Well, twice is too much. (Once is too much.) Perhaps:

    I like it that you walk me to my car when I leave even when it's raining. I like it that you give me a kiss and a hug every time I walk through the door. I like it that you always have a smile for me and that you're always glad to see me. You scratch my back whenever I ask you. You go to the store with me even though you don't like shopping. You remind me constantly how much you love me by all the little things you do that make me feel so loved.


  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: I need help editing a love letter (It gets a bit sappy...)

    Quote Originally Posted by mingogo View Post
    I’ve become quite used to (but never tired of!) the phrases: “You’re beautiful”, “I miss you.”, “I appreciate you.”, and “I love you.All of these little things you do to me, for me, and with me, they all mean something significant, each and every time.
    Each of the full stops (and the colon) I have marked in red above is unnecessary. A full stop should only appear at the end of a whole sentence. We don't use "full stop, quotation mark, comma". I'm not sure I've explained that very well. It should look like this ...

    ... I've become quite used to (but will never tire of!) the phrases "You're beautiful", "I miss you", "I appreciate you" and "I love you." All of these things ...
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: I need help editing a love letter (It gets a bit sappy...)

    Apparently, she didn't like my suggestions. (No "likes" )



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