Results 1 to 7 of 7
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Turkish
      • Home Country:
      • Turkey
      • Current Location:
      • Turkey

    • Join Date: Dec 2014
    • Posts: 2
    #1

    Exclamation Consumerism in front of us, Need help to correction and get new ideas

    The world is changing day by day gradually, also individuals and their habits are changing but this changing is not always occurs in a good way. Human activities on the world effects people and earth in many aspects. The aim of this essay will be consumerism and will focus on negative effects of it. is a problem which we call as "consumerism" and it is being increasingly worse after all time that passed. Consumerism have existed since the first civilizations and it is getting higher and higher every day. Consumerism has negative impacts on the whole earth and peoples' life such as unsustainability issues, having consumerism as a habit, and increasing capitalism.

    First of all, it is obvious that the most critical negative effect of consumerism is unsustainability. It can be seen clearly in every manner of perspective which we are looking to the earth; for instance, as a place to live, as a field which is filled with sources or just as a planet, our sources are running out. Our world can’t cope with the consumes of 6 billion and plus more people. Moreover, it isn’t capable of restoring itself while several billions of people using it’s sources. There is a red line border of earth can handle and we have passed it already. Sustainability means maintain their existence in earth for humans and there is an ecological meaning of it which means sustain natural sources and keep animal beings alive. Our sources are being consumed away because of consumerism. People are wanting lots of things and their demands are increasing in direct proportion with passing days. So production sector supports that demand and when they start to product more, the more they consume the more energy they use, the more material they gather, the more source they spend. 70 percent of the sources on earth are wasted in 50 years. Just two percent of waters are appropriate to drink. There are 6 billions of people living in earth and some researchers say that estimated number of people who will live on earth in 2050 is 20 billion. Can earth keep it’s restoration up with that much number of people? The answer is no, also it can’t even keep up with 6 billion. If our sources run out there will be global wars for energy, materials and water. Big economies will try to attack other countries to sustain their existence. When drinkable waters be reduced to lethal level people will fight with each other. Animals will die because of their valuable leathers, tooths, etc. And then they will extinct.

    Secondly, people are getting used to consume much more which we can also say it as they are having consuming as a habit. With the globalization people have more opportunity to buy things. Developing in technology allow traders to sell their stuffs in internet or in other platforms. People saw the capacity, they saw the opportunities and they become more careless on their expenditures. They became more regardless to the world. Now consuming meets us as a habit. Lots of people can not do anything without buying and using things. High amount of them are buying stuffs which they don’t even need. Just for pleasure. Also that habit is making them alone. Individuals are being materialist. They’re adoring to the money. Emotions are losing worth in their life. Researches show that divorcing rates are increased because of consuming habits. Because people don’t care each others feelings. Their priorities changed. One may break anothers’ life because of a purchasable thing. “Every time you spend money, you're casting a vote for the kind of world you want.”(Lappe, O Magazine, 2003)Furthermore, people become more ambitious. They want to earn more money -in some aspects they want to earn more than their colleagues- to buy more things. Moreover, we can say that this situation causes a chain reaction. One person starts to challenge with others and rest of them will begin to compete with each other. To come to the last thing in this paragraph, having consuming habit is psychological. So it can be said consumerism is harmful for human psychology. It makes human more careless, ambitious and unhappy. People which can not be able to buy the things that they want are being unhappy because of the feeling of weakness. World seems merciless to them sometimes and it’s causing lack of morale in person.

    Thirdly and last, consumerism causing increasing in capitalism. Capitalism existed in the Holland with selling tulip burbs more expensive than they bought. In it’s very hot years one tulip burb was equal as value of a home in Holland. Then it had grown with the hand of European imperialist countries. To exemplify that countries: United Kingdom, Germany, Holland, Spain, Portugal, France. They have began to use third world countries’ sources. They used third world counties’ natural sources to product stuffs and they sell these stuff to that countries much more expensive. “In a sense choices made by peoples of the West—for the private car and against public transport, for suburban life and against urban or rural community, for owner occupation and against tenancy, for the nuclear and against the extended family, for television and against the cinema and the theatre, for social mobility and against class solidarity, for private affluence and against community life, for machine politicians and against charismatic leaders, for orgasm and against conception, for eroticism and against reproduction, for pollution and against regulation—all these are choices in favour of privacy, in favour of individual freedom, in favour of anonymity, but against the very idea of community. The triumph of consumer society is a triumph of all private goals over all public goals.” (Pawley, 1973, pp. 60-61 cited in Cahill, 2001) That quotation also explains European countries’ perspective. Think that there is a man under a tree, they are cutting his tree and building a tent with it then saying him do you want to buy? He says yes, because he needs it but he didn’t need it in the beginning. They’re giving no chance. This is actually what capitalism is and it’s all related with consumerism. If people want to buy more, the rights of the people which lives in third world countries will be diminished. It’s incresasing gradually because well-developed countries’ people got the money not the source. They don’t have the source but have the money to mandatory somewhere. Europe started capitalism but there is also a new style of consumerism which has a specific name as “American Consumerism” that causes more mandatoryship to another countries. Because they are too greed. They don’t know where to stop. They want more, more and more. There is a sentence “Live, Buy, Consume, Die”. It explains our situation.

    In brief, there are problems like unsustainability, consumerism habit and capitalism. They are negative effects of consumerism which affects earth and human beings. We may try to change this situation but I think that we have already passed the line. There is no second change for us. We can just reduce the expiration date of earth sources with precautions.

    --------------------------------

    I know that i've lots of mistakes but this was my first draft so i need your comments to fix it. It is very important for me because i'm very close to passing grade.

    Thanks in advance.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 16-Dec-2014 at 16:12. Reason: Unbolded it

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,060
    #2

    Re: Consumerism in front of us, Need help to correction and get new ideas

    I don't know why you put the whole thing in bold print. Also, if you read the "Forum Rules" you know we aren't supposed to do your homework. (If I'm going to do your homework you should at least pay me. Also, how are you going to learn anything if somebody does your work for you?) At least it's readable (although there's that thing about putting it all in bold). (It is true that sometimes change is good and sometimes it's bad.)


    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Turkish
      • Home Country:
      • Turkey
      • Current Location:
      • Turkey

    • Join Date: Dec 2014
    • Posts: 2
    #3

    Re: Consumerism in front of us, Need help to correction and get new ideas

    That corrrection word doesn't mean that correct the whole text; just the big mistakes and giving some ideas is not doing someones homework i guess. Also, if I know something wrong how can I fix my essay? Be sure if my grammar and english using were great, I wouldn't write there to get some feedback.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,060
    #4

    Re: Consumerism in front of us, Need help to correction and get new ideas

    One little hint:

    "a field which is filled with sources"

    That doesn't really mean anything. (I think you are looking for resources, but a field which is filled with resources wouldn't work either.)

    Also:


    The word its is a possessive, while it's is a contraction.

    That won't help you much, because, as you said, it is filled with mistakes.



    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,319
    #5

    Re: Consumerism in front of us, Need help to correction and get new ideas

    Maybe 'a world endowed with plentiful resources'.

    Our world can’t cope with the consumes of 6 billion and plus more people.


    Our world cannot cope with the consumption of resources by over six billion people.

    second change or second chance?

    We'll wait for you to sort out the text as commented.

    not a teacher

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,060
    #6

    Re: Consumerism in front of us, Need help to correction and get new ideas

    Favelani, after you turn your homework in then we can comment more extensively.


  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,843
    #7

    Re: Consumerism in front of us, Need help to correction and get new ideas

    Favelani, I have edited your first post so that it's not in bold. If you are going to turn this essay into your teacher, it's homework. We do not help with homework. You have been very lucky that a couple of people seem to have disregarded that forum rule and given you some help.

    It's simple - your teacher is not remotely interested in seeing how well we can write an essay. Your teacher wants to see your work. Write the best essay you can, submit it to your teacher and wait to see what mark and comments you get. After you get it back, if there are any corrections or comments from your teacher that you don't understand, you can come back to us for further explanation.

    For now, this thread is closed. You can start a new thread once you've had the essay marked.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

Similar Threads

  1. [Essay] Effects of consumerism
    By saleshni1 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-Oct-2014, 12:48
  2. [Essay] Effects of consumerism
    By saleshni1 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-Oct-2014, 15:40
  3. correction Date of Birth Letter - need correction
    By sanjoy2009 in forum Letter Writing
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 26-Jul-2009, 07:31
  4. [Grammar] In front of & at the front of
    By Open-minded in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-Mar-2009, 18:19
  5. before and in front of
    By jiang in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 24-May-2005, 07:59

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •