I don't think "self-assemble" is quite right. In fact, I don't know why you can't just say electrical kit.I am not sure that everything is understandable in English. Please correct my Personal Achievements Statement:
I was raised in the city of Urumieh, a not so technologically advanced city, and I studied at an inadequate school that prevented me from finding my passion, at least as early as I should have found it. Although many years have passed, I still remember the first time I came across a self-assemble electrical kit, courtesy of my cousin, and that's where my story begins. I can genuinely remember the excitement leading to building a "line-follower" prototype in the next few years, with the only help being a couple of books and a website or two.
You need to use shorter, simpler sentences -- especially with the last part.Achieving this accomplishment, I set my goal to study at the best university of Iran, which nobody deemed possible for a student of my background. Also, what many considered an impasse, I took as a challenge; having studied about 12 hours a day for almost a year finally paid off. In the summer of 2010, I was ranked 29th among more than 300,000 students in the Nationwide University Entrance Exam. For this matter, I had the opportunity to proceed with my undergraduate studies at Sharif University of Technology, the most prestigious engineering university of Iran, where I enrolled with electrical engineering as my major to satisfy my thirst for knowledge. Nowadays, I am considered
asa legend at my high school and I give speeches from time to time, inspiring students to pursue their dreams and have faith in their abilities.
In my opinion, it is essential to have experiences very different from schoolwork alone to succeed in any field of endeavor. Regarding the difference between my mother tongue and the country's official language, I have always been considered a minority by the university community. However, that did not isolate me; it even encouraged me more to engage in various social activities. (How?) As a freshman, I participated in several extra curricular activities in my department and as a sophomore, my colleagues and I held an Astronomical Observation Camping.(Camp out?) During my junior and senior years, I had a part in holding a brand-new nationwide robotic competitions, named "SharifCup". In the first year of the competitions, I was head of Race and Fight league which provided me a valuable experience of Crisis Management in a minor way since it was a new match of its kind and was full of unexpected events. In order to perfect the set of my undergraduate experiences, the following year, I chose to be responsible for finances as an executive, which informed me of how a project can be difficult managing from the financial point of view.
Having all stated above in mind, from where I stand, following my graduate studies in -- department of ---- will definitely facilitate reaching my
setobjectives. I assure you that I will commit my utmost effort and meet the challenges necessary to achieve the most positive outcome in this endeavor.
Student or Learner