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  1. Newbie
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      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Russian Federation
      • Current Location:
      • Russian Federation

    • Join Date: Dec 2014
    • Posts: 2
    #1

    Need a correction of my cover letter

    Hello, could you please help me with my cover letter? I need a correction of mistakes and, perhaps, some advices about structure.

    "Dear Sirs,
    my name is ..., I am 24 years old and I live in Moscow (Russia). I graduated in 2013 in Moscow from a technical university (National University of Science and Technology "MISIS") with the qualification Master of Physics. At the moment I`m working at this university in a laboratory "Superconducting metamaterials" as a junior researcher.
    I am excited about the opportunity to study at your university and with this letter I hereby would like to express my motivation for a Master program in Computational Linguistics offered by the University of Stuttgart. I think that Universitry of Stuttgart is one of the best universities in Germany and makes a perfect combination between theory and practice in the study.
    I have decided for the master's program in Germany to expand my theoretical knowledge and practical skills in the area, that Iíve been interested in for years, and in which I would like to work in the future.
    I like to read the literature and take part in online courses (such as CourseraĎs) in computer science, linguistics, machine learning and interdisciplinary areas. For a year Iíve been working on projects as a freelance translator (English - Russian) in engineering, with an emphasis in computer science, the references I can gladly provide on request. I have a very good command of English, I can prove my knowledge by iBT TOEFL certificate (94/120). For two years I`ve been learning German and I also have basic knowledge of French and Latin. For this reason, I would like to obtain knowledge in linguistics and computer science as well as to deepen and apply it in practice. I like to create computer programs in my spare time. Moreover, in my current work I write programs to operate our equipment and for data analysis. Apart from that, I took part in creating of web-site for one of the laboratories a tour University. Presently Iím participating in a starting project of creation a computer game, that is strongly connected with modeling of dialogs, processing of text arrays and machine learning.
    Through my already completed degree in physics and my work in a well-known international laboratory named "Superconducting Metamaterials" I have built up a very good experience as a physicist and researcher and I also like to work with various electronic devices, by which I could make a good contribution to the solution of different problems. Moreover, I can look at each issue from a different perspective, since I have a different background.
    From studies at the University, I would like to receive practical and professional skills, that I could continue to apply in an international company or in a futher academic career.
    I am also pleased to share multicultural experiences with other students and thereby expand my own mental horizon.
    With this cover letter I hope to be able to give you a good impression of me. I am always available by email and phone number listed on my application.
    Best regards,
    ..."

    Thank you in advance!

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 10,976
    #2

    Re: Need a correction of my cover letter

    Quote Originally Posted by elhe View Post
    Hello, could you please help me with my cover letter? I need a correction of mistakes and, perhaps, some advice about structure.
    The word "advice" is not a count noun.

    Quote Originally Posted by elhe View Post
    "Dear Sirs,
    My name is ..., I am 24 years old and I live in Moscow (Russia). I graduated in 2013 in Moscow from a technical university (National University of Science and Technology "MISIS") with the qualification Master of Physics. At the moment I'm working at this university in a laboratory "Superconducting metamaterials" as a junior researcher.

    I am excited about the opportunity to study at your university and with this letter I hereby would like to express my motivation for a Master program in Computational Linguistics offered by the University of Stuttgart. I think that the Universitry of Stuttgart is one of the best universities in Germany and makes a perfect combination between theory and practice in the study.

    I have decided to enroll in the master's program in Germany to expand my theoretical knowledge and practical skills in the area, that Iíve been interested in for years, and in which I would like to work in the future.

    I like to read the literature and take part in online courses (such as CourseraĎs) in computer science, linguistics, machine learning and interdisciplinary areas. For a year Iíve been working on projects as a freelance translator (English - Russian) in engineering, with an emphasis in computer science, the references I can gladly provide on request. I have a very good command of English, I can prove my knowledge by iBT TOEFL certificate (94/120). For two years I've been learning German and I also have a basic knowledge of French and Latin. For this reason, I would like to obtain knowledge in linguistics and computer science as well as to deepen and apply it in practice. I like to create computer programs in my spare time. Moreover, in my current work I write programs to operate our equipment and for data analysis. Apart from that, I took part in creating a web-site for one of the laboratories a tour University. Presently Iím participating in a starting project of creation a computer game, that is strongly connected with modeling of dialogs, processing of text arrays and machine learning.

    Through my already completed degree in physics and my work in a well-known international laboratory named "Superconducting Metamaterials" I have built up a very good resume` as a physicist and researcher and I also like to work with various electronic devices, by which I could make a good contribution to the solution of different problems. Moreover, I can look at each issue from a different perspective, since I have a different background.

    From studies at the University, I would like to receive practical and professional skills, that I could continue to apply in an international company or in a futher academic career.

    I am also pleased to share multicultural experiences with other students and thereby expand my own mental horizon.
    With this cover letter I hope to be able to give you a good impression of me. I am always available by email and phone number listed on my application.
    Best regards,
    ..."

    Thank you in advance!
    I haven't looked at the whole thing thoroughly yet, but I did put in paragraph breaks.

  3. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Russian Federation
      • Current Location:
      • Russian Federation

    • Join Date: Dec 2014
    • Posts: 2
    #3

    Re: Need a correction of my cover letter

    Thank you very much!

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 10,976
    #4

    Re: Need a correction of my cover letter

    Re:
    I am excited about the opportunity to study at your university and with this letter I hereby would like to express my motivation for a Master program in Computational Linguistics offered by the University of Stuttgart. I think that the Universitry of Stuttgart is one of the best universities in Germany and makes a perfect combination between theory and practice in the study.


    I guess that's enough flattery.


    Re:

    I have decided to enroll in the master's program in Germany to expand my theoretical knowledge and practical skills in the area, that Iíve been interested in for years, and in which I would like to work in the future.


    See:


    I have decided to enroll in the master's program in Germany to expand my theoretical knowledge and practical skills in the area that Iíve been interested in for years and in which I would like to work in the future.

    Not that the underlined text is one long noun phrase, and I took the commas out for that reason. (I don't think you need that sentence at all, but what do I know?)

    Re:



    I like to read the literature and take part in online courses (such as CourseraĎs) in computer science, linguistics, machine learning and interdisciplinary areas. For a year Iíve been working on projects as a freelance translator (English - Russian) in engineering, with an emphasis in computer science, the references I can gladly provide on request.

    Say:


    I like to read the literature and take part in online courses (such as CourseraĎs) in computer science, linguistics, machine learning and interdisciplinary areas. For a year Iíve been working on projects as a freelance translator (English - Russian) in engineering, with an emphasis on computer science, which references I will provide on request.

    Amazing! (You must be smarter than me. )


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