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      • Native Language:
      • Korean
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      • South Korea
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden

    • Join Date: Dec 2014
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Post Proof read for intention letter

    Hi everyone!
    Please help me for proofreading my intention letter for the application of master's degree.. Thank you very much!!!!


    Dear Sir/Madam,

    With this letter I wish to state my motivation for entrance to the Masterís program in XXXX at the XXXX for the 2015/16 academic year. I have been aspiring to be part of this department for a long time now since I am aware that it provides the best education and environment for non-technical Fashion studies.

    I am completing my last year of Bachelorís degree in XXXXX at the XXXXXX. I have been studying Fashion history, culture and art since the first year of my degree. I found these areas appealing as they provide the best explanation of the current fashion trend. My desire is to discover more about these domains to fully appreciate the multi-cultural and international environments of nowadays.

    I have been a research assistant at my university and it introduces me to academia. Experimenting and data mining were my main duties that taught me patience and perseverance. I am convinced that to be an academic researcher or a teacher is the most direct way to apply your knowledge.

    I have also had experience of studying and living in XXX. I finished a 6-month exchange study in XXXXX. From my participation, I believe that XXXX is an excellent place in fashion field, with its first-rate brands like XXX and XXXX and a society that quickly integrates the latest trends. I, furthermore, truly appreciate the XXXX university system which puts the student as a first concern. I am looking forward to discovering XXXXXX further, living among its friendly people in urbanized cities with stunning views. XXXX, because of its dynamism, is the city that I would like to study in.

    If I am chosen as a masterís student at your university, I will be dedicated to reach my long-term goals. These goals include career advancement, improvement on professional knowledge about Fashion as well as contributing to the fashion industry. I want to be part of your departmentís faculty to devote for the opportunity you have given me, if permitted.

    I am grateful for having this chance to apply as a student in your university. I seek for a masterís degree in order to refine my knowledge and skills in Fashion aspect and the Masterís study at your university will be the most rational expansion of my academic pursuits and a major footstep towards attaining. I will be able to achieve my goals and enrich my knowledge to improve my skills further.

    Yours Faithfully,


    Thanks once again!!

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,047
    #2

    Re: Proof read for intention letter

    I don't think "fashion" is a proper noun. Have you read some of the other letters in this section?

  2. Newbie
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: Dec 2014
    • Posts: 1
    #3

    Angry Re: Proof read for intention letter

    HOW TO WRITE C.V.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,047
    #4

    Re: Proof read for intention letter

    Quote Originally Posted by maggiehm View Post
    I have been a research assistant at my university, and that experience introduced me to the academic world. Experimenting and data mining were my main duties, and by doing those things I learned patience and perseverance.

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