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    #1

    Professional email etiquette

    Dear Teacher,

    I work as a Business Development Manager for a IT start up. My manager had informed me that tone of one of my emails is not appropriate and told me to follow email etiquette when sending emails to senior managers. I copied the email conversation that I'm talking about below. Please let me know if have used inappropriate tone and suggest me better way to write an email.

    Thank you in advance !
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Ms. ABC,

    As per our discussion, I have created the layout for an HTML email. PFA.

    After tracking many emails that I sent to prospects, I found that they are not visiting our website after opening an email. Including our list of services and a "call to action" communication in the email helps us in influencing the prospects to visit our website. Please check the trailing mail below to find another template.

    Also, inform the designer to strictly follow the rules mentioned in the following website while designing the template:
    http://templates.mailchimp.com/getting-started/html-email-basics/

    Let me know if you want to discuss further.

    Thank you,
    Prasanna
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Note:
    I intentionally didn't start the last two sentences with "please" as I felt that repeated use of "please" doesn't sound good.
    My manager always try to point out my mistakes whenever I suggest to modify the existing strategy of the company.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Professional email etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by bspkumar View Post
    Dear teachers,

    I work as a Business Development Manager for an IT start-up. My manager had has informed me that the tone of one of my emails is not appropriate and told me to follow email etiquette when sending emails to senior managers. I have copied the email conversation that I'm talking about below. Please let me know if have used an inappropriate tone and suggest me a better way to write an email.

    Thank you in advance ! Unnecessary. Thank us after we have helped you.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dear Ms. ABC,

    As per our discussion, I have created the layout for an HTML email. PFA. (I don't know what PFA means as a standalone sentence.)

    After tracking many emails that I sent to prospects prospective clients/customers, I have found that they are not visiting our website after opening an email from us. Including our a list of our services and a "call to action" communication in the email helps might/could/will help us in influencing to encourage the prospects prospective clients/customers to visit our website. Please check the trailing mail below to find another template.

    Also, In addition, I would appreciate it if you would inform the designer to strictly follow the rules mentioned in the following website while designing the template:

    [LINK REMOVED BY MODERATOR]

    Please let me know if you want to discuss this further.

    Thank you,
    Prasanna

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Note:
    I intentionally didn't start the last two sentences with "please" as I felt that repeated use of "please" doesn't sound good. If your manager is particularly keen on email etiquette, I wouldn't worry about using "please" too many times.
    My manager always try tries to point out my mistakes whenever I suggest to modify modifying the existing strategy of the company.
    See my suggested amendments above (to both your letter and to the contents of your own post). Each company has its own way of writing emails - the way your manager writes emails should be a good indicator to you of how he/she thinks they should be written. I certainly didn't think you wrote in an "inappropriate tone" but perhaps etiquette in your company is more polite than I am used to. I have, however, added "I would appreciate it if" and "please" near the end of your email because the last two sentences did sound a little terse.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: Professional email etiquette

    Thank you very much for your valuable suggestions.
    Most of the grammatical mistakes in my post were overlooked mistakes as I was in a hurry.

    Regarding the words PFA and "prospects," PFA means "please find the attachment" and we commonly use the word "prospects" as a short form of "prospective clients/customers."

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Professional email etiquette

    Well, PFA is certainly new to me. If your company regularly uses "prospects" and everyone understands it, then it's fine (as long as your manager is happy for you to use such shortcuts when you are writing to senior managers.

    With regard to your statement that many of the grammatical mistakes were oversights because you were in a hurry, in all honesty that makes me rather cross. I took a long time making those corrections. If you had taken the time to write your post properly in the first place and had proofread your own post, you might have spotted some of those errors and corrected them yourself instead of leaving it to me to do. If you're not prepared to take the time to be careful, why should we?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #5

    Re: Professional email etiquette

    My manager always try to point out my mistakes whenever I suggest to modify the existing strategy of the company.
    This suggests to me that the issue is not with the "etiquette" of your emails, but that they don't want you to offer any suggestions.

    I would take the hint and either stop suggesting new strategies to those who don't want to hear them from you, or find a new job where your contributions are welcome.

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    #6

    Re: Professional email etiquette

    I'm really sorry for not taking enough time to write my post properly. Apart from working for this job, I volunteer for an NGO and working vigorously to launch a social enterprise. I hardly find time to learn languages. I don't want to defend my self by saying this, but I assure you that I'll try my best to avoid overlooked mistakes.

    Also, I found it difficult to learn English. Most of the non-native English speakers spend lot of time learning grammar and pronunciation rules. You may surprise if I say that I allocated 60% of the CAT exam preparation time for Verbal Ability and rest of the time for the other two sections of CAT exam (GMAT equivalent in India) before I did MBA. I still have a lot to learn!

    Thank you!

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