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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Question Motivational Letter Study

    Hi everyone!

    I was asking myself if my motivational letter is havin any mistakes in it considering the grammar or if I should correct something of the contet. If you notice that something is missing please tell me. Thank you in advantage

    My letter:

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am writing to apply for the Bachelor‘s Degree program in International Logistics and Economics at the XXX starting in XXX in which I am very interested.

    Currently I am living in XXXwhere I am going to pass my A-Levels at the XXX in XXX. About myself I can say that I am a Team player who loves to collaborate with other people. I've developed these skills while I was playing in a soccer team for about six years. Besides these skills I've learned a lot about communication, reliability and flexibility at my current work. My strengths are definitely my organisational skills and that I am very open-minded.

    As long as I can remember I've been interested in logistical processes and the economy in general. That is why, when I had to choose the direction in which to I may specialize at school, I selected the Economics. In my opinion my choice was the right decision and I don't regret it. Furthermore I would like to learn more about logistics since I always wondered myself how it is possible to plan warehousing and the delivery of goods at the lowest cost and most efficient as possible.

    I want to study abroad because I like to meet new challenges in life and to manhandle them. I also enjoy learning about foreign cultures and to come upon people from various countries. The main reason why I want to study at the XXX is that many of the courses offered are unique for me, because there is no equivalent in Germany. Another aspect that has convinced me to study at the XXX, is that this program gives me the chance to work on real-life projects. The fact that the XXX is the best large University of Applied Science in XXX according to XXX has strengthened my determination.

    My future plan is to start my career in an international company after I've graduated from the XXX and maybe even to stay in the Netherlands. I would like to work in the international logistics industry and to incorporate my own company one day. It would be great if I could achieve my future goals based on the knowledge which I will acquire at the XXX.

    Thank you very much for considering my application. I look forward to your positive response.

    Yours faithfully,

    XXX
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 05-Jan-2015 at 12:07. Reason: Removed unnecessary quote box around the letter

  2. Newbie
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    #2

    Re: Motivational Letter Study

    Anyone? :D

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Motivational Letter Study

    Please don't chase answers after only a few hours. You posted it at nearly midnight (in the UK) and are chasing it at 9am. Yesterday was Sunday when quite a lot of people don't go on the site anyway and today is the big "back to work" day after the Christmas/New Year break. We are all volunteers - we work on the site as and when we can. Be patient.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. Newbie
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    #4

    Re: Motivational Letter Study

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Please don't chase answers after only a few hours. You posted it at nearly midnight (in the UK) and are chasing it at 9am. Yesterday was Sunday when quite a lot of people don't go on the site anyway and today is the big "back to work" day after the Christmas/New Year break. We are all volunteers - we work on the site as and when we can. Be patient.
    Sorry hadn't thought of that.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Motivational Letter Study

    I can understand impatience. However, there are about a million of these things in this folder already. (Really. A million. Check it out. (OK. Not really. ))

    Quote Originally Posted by Matti_ View Post
    Hi everyone!

    I was asking myself if my motivational letter is havin any mistakes in it considering the grammar or if I should correct something of the contet. If you notice that something is missing please tell me. Thank you in advantage
    Don't overly complicate things. Just say: "Please find the mistakes and offer correction/suggestions." (While "Thank you in advantage" might seem to be a clever takeoff on "Thank you in advance" I don't see how it makes sense to thank somebody for something they haven't done yet.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Matti_ View Post
    My letter:

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am writing to apply for the Bachelor‘s Degree program in International Logistics and Economics at the XXX starting in XXX in which I am very interested.

    Currently I am living in XXXwhere I am going to pass my A-Levels at the XXX in XXX. About myself I can say that I am a team player who loves to collaborate with other people. I developed these skills while I was playing on a soccer team for about six years. Besides these skills I've learned a lot about communication, reliability and flexibility at my current work. My strengths are definitely my organisational skills and that I am very open-minded.
    I don't see why you can't say you like working with other people.

    (Maybe I'll look at this some more later.)

  6. Newbie
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    #6

    Re: Motivational Letter Study

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    I can understand impatience. However, there are about a million of these things in this folder already. (Really. A million. Check it out. (OK. Not really. ))



    Don't overly complicate things. Just say: "Please find the mistakes and offer correction/suggestions." (While "Thank you in advantage" might seem to be a clever takeoff on "Thank you in advance" I don't see how it makes sense to thank somebody for something they haven't done yet.)



    I don't see why you can't say you like working with other people.

    (Maybe I'll look at this some more later.)
    Thank you for your answer :) The thing is that I am not sure if my grammar is correct thats the only thing that I am worried about. I am pretty sure that the contet of it is good but I am not always sure about my grammar especially when I try it really hard to do it as good as I can. So if you find any mistakes and/or offer some correction/suggestions I would be very happy! Thank you in advance since I am happy if someone shows any interest in helping me :D

  7. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Motivational Letter Study

    OK, if I am going to pretend to be interested I am going to have to charge more.


    Quote Originally Posted by Matti_ View Post
    My letter:

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am writing to apply for the Bachelor‘s Degree program in International Logistics and Economics at the XXX starting in XXX in which I am very interested.
    I would pretty much assume you are interested, or why are you doing this?


    Quote Originally Posted by Matti_ View Post
    Currently I am living in XXXwhere I am going to pass my A-Levels at the XXX in XXX. About myself I can say that I am a team player who enjoys working with other people. I developed these skills while I was playing on a soccer team for about six years. Besides these skills I've learned a lot about communication, reliability and flexibility at my current work. My strengths are definitely my organisational skills and that I am very open-minded.
    I think I did that one before. (It's deja vu all over again. )

    Quote Originally Posted by Matti_ View Post
    As long as I can remember I've been interested in logistical processes and the economy in general. That is why, when I had to choose my major, I selected economics. In my opinion, my choice was the right decision and I don't regret it. Furthermore, I would like to learn more about logistics since I always wondered myself how it is possible to plan warehousing and the delivery of goods at the lowest cost and as efficient as possible.
    No, you didn't want to know how it was possible. You wanted to know how to do it. Try:

    I had always wanted to learn logistics.

    Quote Originally Posted by Matti_ View Post
    I want to study abroad because I like to meet new challenges in life and to manhandle them.
    OK, that is just weird. (It is definitely too original.) Try:

    I want to study abroad because I like learning about different cultures and meeting people from different countries.

    Quote Originally Posted by Matti_ View Post
    I also enjoy learning about foreign cultures and to come upon people from various countries. The main reason why I want to study at the XXX is that many of the courses offered are unique for me, because there is no equivalent in Germany. Another aspect that has convinced me to study at the XXX, is that this program gives me the chance to work on real-life projects. The fact that the XXX is the best large University of Applied Science in XXX according to XXX has strengthened my determination.
    Try:
    I want to study at XXX because they offer courses there that I can't find anywhere else.

    You don't have to say the same things over and over and over. (Of course, you can if you want to.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Matti_ View Post
    My future plan is to start my career in an international company after I've graduated from the XXX and maybe even to stay in the Netherlands. I would like to work in the international logistics industry and to incorporate my own company one day. It would be great if I could achieve my future goals based on the knowledge which I will acquire at the XXX.

    Thank you very much for considering my application. I look forward to your positive response.

    Yours faithfully,

    XXX
    Hopefully, you will not only acquire knowledge, but you will also learn how to apply that knowledge.

    (I bet you're going to have a question or two.)

  8. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Motivational Letter Study

    Quote Originally Posted by Jari Hanski View Post
    Your motivation letter needs quite a bit of work to be done on it.
    Yes, and somebody has done quite a bit of work on it. Also, if they wanted to pay somebody for help it is not likely they would come to this website. Furthermore, advertising is not allowed on this website (as you should know).


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