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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    toefl essay writing (independent tast)

    Question: Leaders like Martin Luther king and John F kennedy have made important contributions to the people of united states .Name another world leader you think is important.Give specific reasons.

    I think Mr.Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi also called as Mahatma Gandhi is also an important world leader as he taught the the world the lessons of non violence and tolerance.he taught everyone that nonviolence is also as powerful as violence. I think he is a great leader .

    Firstly because he brought freedom to a country like India which was under the rule of british for almost a decade without using any arms. He used weapons like non-cooperation,boycott etc which turned out to be most powerful. He proved everyone that there is no need of arm to win your freedom.

    secondly he abolished the word untouchables from the society.untouchables are those people who belong to the low class of the society. They were punished for touching other people of their village,entering into the religious places and even drinking water from a well.Mr.Gandhi called these people as children of god and hugged them(as he belongs to upper class).

    thirdly he tried to abolish the evil practices like child marriages , killing of girl child ,burning of wife with husband's corpse etc that dominated the indian society during that period. Thought he could not totally abolish this like that in the previous case but he was the first one to raise his voice against these evil practice.

    at last I want to conclude by saying that he made India a better place to live in by using incredible tools and bringing freedom, abolition of those senseless and useless rule so he is called as Father of the Nation.And he is an important world leader.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: toefl essay writing (independent tast)

    Welcome to the forum.

    For a start, your final three paragraphs don't start with a capital letter. Also, we don't put a space before a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark. We do put a space after a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Newbie
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    #3

    Re: toefl essay writing (independent tast)

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Welcome to the forum.

    For a start, your final three paragraphs don't start with a capital letter. Also, we don't put a space before a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark. We do put a space after a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.
    thank u for your suggestion can you please tell me how many points i will get on a scale of 5

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: toefl essay writing (independent tast)

    Quote Originally Posted by perini View Post
    Thank you for your suggestions. Can you please tell me how many points I will would get on a scale of 1-5?
    Please see my corrections to this post. Before anyone tries to give you an idea of a score, please click on Edit Post and make the changes to the capitalisation (first letter of every sentence, the word "I", all proper nouns (British) and to the spaces around the punctuation. Then click "Save".

    (I should point out that I don't to TOEFL any more so I'm not up to date on the scoring.)
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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