My grammar mistakes?

[sammyjankis]

I wrote the following passage, could anyone help pointing out my mistakes? thank you very much.:roll:

Although I cannot endorse this essentially - pogrom of non-ethnic Buddhists, it is highlighting again the great disparity in which people too easily conflate ethno-religious identity and religious identification. If the Muslim ethnic-Bengali diaspora were not so stubborn, this would not be this way; no excuse on part of the Burmese government, but this is a natural causation of the past treatment of Buddhists.

 

[probus]

As written it is unintelligible to me. May I suggest that you try to express it in a few short declarative sentences.

 

[Barb_D]

I have no flipping clue what that is supposed to mean.

 

[emsr2d2]

Thank you, I'll bear that in mind!
what about this sentence? ''You don't hand in your writings for practice to be marked as papers do you? by which I wanted to mean that your writings for practice should not be judged against the criteria for papers, did I express my meaning? I hope so:lol:

What has that got to do with your first post? Did you read posts #2 and #3?

 

[sammyjankis]

Yes I did. It seems I'm still getting used to the forum.. I thought I was responding to 2 3, but it turned out I was replying to myself?:shock:

 

[sammyjankis]

What has that got to do with your first post? Did you read posts #2 and #3?

Is this the right way?

 

[sammyjankis]

As written it is unintelligible to me. May I suggest that you try to express it in a few short declarative sentences.

Thank you, I'll bear that in mind!
what about this sentence? ''You don't hand in your writings for practice to be marked as papers do you? by which I wanted to mean that your writings for practice should not be judged against the criteria for papers, did I express my meaning? I hope so:lol:

 

[sammyjankis]

I have no flipping clue what that is supposed to mean.

actually a stupid woman wrote that, she said my English was sloppy, I thought to myself, I'd better get some help from the pros and collect some ammunition.
please tell me what she wrote is the most stupid thing you've ever read in your life.:lol:

 

[Barb_D]

It doesn't matter if it was written by a man, woman, or alien life form, it is completely unintelligible.