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    #1

    Smile Need help with motivation letter

    hi,
    I am Mithun, i am new to this forum. I am applying for MSc Aerospace Engineering and i am supposed to give a one page Motivation letter. i have made a rough draft , please help me correct it and also advice me if it need improvement.

    My letter is as follows


    Dear sir,

    I am applying for post graduate study in MSc. Aerospace Engineering. I see this as an important step towards achieving my career objective to become an Aerospace Engineer researching on propulsion systems.

    I am Mechanical Engineering graduate from University of Kerala, India. With a CGPA of 8.14, I was able to secure 4th position in my class. Complementing my strong academic performance are my advanced skills in leadership and communication. My final year project was based on the design and fabrication of Omni-directional vehicle using Mecanum wheels, under the guidance of the Science and Technology Museum, Kerala. My leadership on the project gave me pragmatic experience on how to handle industry concerns and technical knowledge on Design, Tool, and Material Engineering.

    As my first exposure to aerospace engineering, I took up two elective papers, “Aerospace Engineering” and “Propulsion Technology”. The former introduced me to the aerodynamics of airfoils, aerodynamic shapes, aircraft performance characteristics and the principles of stability and control. The latter helped me understand the various types of aircraft and rocket propulsion systems, their construction and design.

    I have opted for M.Sc. Aerospace Engineering at TUM-Asia, because of the in depth study modules in Aerodynamics and Propulsion. The modules I most look forward to are, “Aerodynamics and Propulsion”, “Lightweight and Aerospace Structures”, “Aero-systems” and “Advanced Flight Dynamics”.

    Furthermore, a Master's Degree in Aerospace Engineering will allow me to pursue my dream to work at continued progress in the field of aerospace engineering. Specifically I will study propulsion systems and Aerospace Structures. I find thrust engines fascinating. Working on the optimization of any type of flight propulsion system would be my ideal career. Considering the rise of commercial space programs and the undeniable benefits of high speed transportation, knowledge of Advanced Flight Dynamics will be essential in contributing to new and advanced Aircraft Designs.

    Master of Science in Aerospace Engineering at TUM-Asia would help in developing pragmatic knowledge and abreast myself with the latest trends in the industry. Moreover, the aerospace sector in Singapore is constantly growing and Career choices are widespread with the possibility to work in some of the premier Companies.

    I strongly believe that I can match the high standards and contribute fruitfully to the research endeavors, at your university. I would be grateful to you, if I am accorded the opportunity to pursue my higher studies. I am sure that you will share my confidence and give me an opportunity to continue with my further studies and research endeavors at your prestigious university. Together we can further mankind's knowledge and capabilities of high speed flight.
    -Mithun P.John

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Need help with motivation letter

    Quote Originally Posted by mithunpjohn View Post
    hi,
    I am Mithun. I am new to this forum. I am applying for MSc Aerospace Engineering and I am supposed to write a one page motivation letter. I have written a rough draft. Please help me correct it, and also tell me if it needs improvement.

    My letter is as follows.

    Quote Originally Posted by mithunpjohn View Post
    Dear sir,

    I am applying for post graduate study in MSc. Aerospace Engineering. I see this as an important step towards achieving my career objective to become an aerospace engineer researching on propulsion systems.
    Please note the changes to the text.


  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Need help with motivation letter

    Quote Originally Posted by mithunpjohn View Post

    I am a mechanical engineering graduate from the University of Kerala, India. With a CGPA of 8.14, I was able to secure 4th position in my class. Complementing my strong academic performance are my advanced skills in leadership and communication. My final year project was based on the design and fabrication of an omni-directional vehicle using Mecanum wheels, under the guidance of the Science and Technology Museum, Kerala. My leadership on the project gave me pragmatic experience on how to handle industry concerns and technical knowledge on design, tool, and material engineering.

    As my first exposure to aerospace engineering, I took up two elective papers, “Aerospace Engineering” and “Propulsion Technology”. The former introduced me to the aerodynamics of airfoils, aerodynamic shapes, aircraft performance characteristics and the principles of stability and control. The latter helped me understand the various types of aircraft and rocket propulsion systems, their construction and design.

    I have opted for M.Sc. Aerospace Engineering at TUM-Asia, because of the in depth study modules in Aerodynamics and Propulsion. The modules I most look forward to are, “Aerodynamics and Propulsion”, “Lightweight and Aerospace Structures”, “Aero-systems” and “Advanced Flight Dynamics”.
    More later.


  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Need help with motivation letter

    Quote Originally Posted by mithunpjohn View Post
    hi,
    Furthermore, a Master's Degree in Aerospace Engineering will allow me to pursue my dream of working in the field of aerospace engineering.
    Unfortunately, I am out of time for today. Sorry.


    Got to go!

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Need help with motivation letter

    The start should be "Dear S​ir" (as long as you know you are writing to a man).
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Need help with motivation letter

    Quote Originally Posted by mithunpjohn View Post

    Master of Science in Aerospace Engineering at TUM-Asia would help in developing pragmatic knowledge and abreast myself with the latest trends in the industry. Moreover, the aerospace sector in Singapore is constantly growing and Career choices are widespread with the possibility to work in some of the premier Companies.
    We don't use "abreast" as a verb. Perhaps:

    Taking that course will help me keep up with the latest trends in the industry.


    You seem to be highly qualified.

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    #7

    Re: Need help with motivation letter

    Thank you very much :)

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