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    #1

    Can someone corrects and gives advise to my paper for my TOEFL exam

    I am practicing my writing skills preparing for the upcoming TOEFL exam, and hope someone can give me advises to further improve my writing skills.

    The reading states that AIDS advocacy group (AAGs), tries to help AIDSís patients more easily to obtain medicines, provides three methods of supports. However, the lecture refutes each of the authorís reasons.

    First, the reading claims that major drug company should lower the price of AIDS drug. In contrary to this point, the lecture argues that such method may hinder investors pour money into company to produce any new medicines.

    Second, the reading suggests that getting government engagement into buying AIDS medicines at a large quantity can benefit both patients and major drug company. Nevertheless, the lecture claims that because most poor countries rely heavily on material import, governments do not have enough money to pay for the drugs.

    Third, the reading encourages manufacturing AIDS drug inside poor countries might lower the cost of the drug, and it believes this method can reduce the costs of making new drug. However, the lecture discredits this method and says such method will produce tinted drug that endanger AIDS patients.

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    #2

    Re: Can someone corrects and gives advise to my paper for my TOEFL exam

    I am practicingsing my writing skills preparing to prepare for the upcoming TOEFL exam, and hope someone can give me advisesce to further improve my writing skills.

    The reading (what reading) states that the AIDS advocacy group (AAGs) (,) tries to help AIDS (’s) patients more easily to obtain medicines more easily, provides by providing three methods of supports. However, the lecture refutes each of the author’s reasons.

    First, the reading (?) claims that major drug company companies should lower the price of AIDS drug. In Contrary to this point, the lecture argues that such a method may hinder discourage investors from pour money into investing in a company to produce any new medicines.

    Second, the reading suggests that getting the government engagement into to buying AIDS medicines at a in large quantity quantities can benefit both patients and the major drug company. Nevertheless, the lecture claims that because most poor countries rely heavily on material imports, governments do not have enough money to pay for the drugs.

    Third, the reading encourages the manufacturing of AIDS drug carried out inside poor countries which might lower the cost of the drug, and it believes this method can reduce the costs of making the new drug. However, the lecture discredits this method and says such method will produce tinted tainted drug that endanger AIDS patients.

    not a teacher
    Last edited by tedmc; 23-Jan-2015 at 04:15.

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    #3

    Re: Can someone corrects and gives advise to my paper for my TOEFL exam

    Thz a lot! I'll spend more time to work on my poor grammar.

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    #4

    Re: Can someone corrects and gives advise to my paper for my TOEFL exam

    You are welcome.
    Note that I missed out a 'which' after 'poor countries' in the last paragraph.
    I am still curious what you mean by 'the reading'.

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    #5

    Re: Can someone corrects and gives advise to my paper for my TOEFL exam

    Quote Originally Posted by bennyipfar View Post
    Thz a lot! I'll spend more time to work on my poor grammar.
    Note that "thz" is not a word. I've never even seen that version. I've seen "Thx" more times than I care to count. Neither of them are acceptable. The word is "Thanks". We discourage the use of textspeak and chatlish on this forum.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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