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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Lebanon
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jan 2015
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    small paragraph

    I am an ESL learner. I usually try to write small paragraphs to practice my English. if you read this piece of writing what do you think that I need to work on harder.

    Family is where all of our lives start. It is the basis on our lives. Itgrows with us as we grow until it becomes part of our daily life. My familygrew on the day I met your mother.” My father said that with a beautiful smileon his face while we were sitting together on the porch. It was a beautiful sunnyday with a very light breeze in the spring. It was on a Saturday afternoon aday before the mother’s day. I looked in his eyes I saw them full of happinessand a lot to say.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 23-Jan-2015 at 18:01. Reason: Standardised font size

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,332
    #2

    Re: small paragraph

    The family is where all of our lives start. It is the basis on of our lives. It grows with us as we grow until it becomes part of our daily life. My "Our family grew (The story of our family started) on the day I met your mother.” My father said that with a beautiful smile on his face while we were sitting together on in the porch. It was a beautifull, sunny day with a very light breeze in the spring. It was on a Saturday afternoon, a day before the Mother’s day. I looked in his eyes and I saw them full of happiness and a lot to say .

    You should work on :
    - spacing of words
    - capitalizations
    - punctuations
    - prepositions
    - expressions (the underlined parts)

    not a teacher
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 23-Jan-2015 at 18:02. Reason: Enlarged previously unreadable font size

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