First of all, you need to refrain yourself from using the same word time and again (gap,support... ), use synonyms.
Start your writing with a broad sense, which relates to your topic. Your second paragraph is out of place. I am also a Muslim and you mentioned what is our religious obligation in your writing. its great but you might be negatively marked for irrelevant writing, cause they didnt asked about religious obligation, they asked about rich countries obligation to the poorer one. There are grammatical mistakes too, but I am also terrible in grammar, so I hope someone else in the forum will help you in that department. Overall I think you are close to 5.5/6.0.
Student or Learner