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    #1

    not native speaker: help with motivation letter for master in finance

    Hello guys I have to apply for a Master in finance but I'm not native speaker so I would really appreaciate I you might give me some suggestions to make it perfect (grammatically speaking). My greatest problem is the use of simple past vs present perfect and article "the". Thank you for your help

    this would be the final? version revised what do yuo think?

    Dear Sir and Madam,
    With this letter I wish to apply and state my motivation for entering the 2015/2016 academic year of the Master in Finance at the Collegio Carlo Alberto.
    For as long as I can remember I’ve always had a special aptitude for mathematics and my passion for it intensified when, during my teenage years, I first heard about bonds and stocks. Without even realising it, I discovered the world of finance, which is replete with mathematics.
    Since then, the word “finance” has guided my choices in schools, and the more I learned, the more my professional ambitions took shape. Now, having acquired a wider vision, I aim to become a brilliant portfolio manager or to work for financial firms which study new quantitative models for portfolio optimization.

    My innate inner drive has continuously pushed me to excel, therefore I’ve always tried to deepen my quantitative and informatics skills. As evidence of this, my classmates have often consulted me as a point of reference.
    In the first year of the master’s degree, thanks to my academic results, I was selected to take part in the University Trading Challenge as a member of a four-person team. This challenge is a real money international online trading championship, which represented my first significant experience that allowed me to trade and invest real money on financial markets. I’m proud to say that my team was the runner-up among over ninety participating universities.
    I graduated with honours from University of Modena and Reggio Emilia, obtaining a Master’s degree in Financial Analysis, Advising and Management. Nevertheless, I feel that I need additional study in a challenging academic environment to broaden my expertise and prepare myself for my future successful career in a very competitive industry. The passion and enthusiasm I have for finance have made me thirsty for more knowledge. This is the reason why I want to continue my studies.

    Having analysed in detail the Master’s courses program offered by several universities, I’ve decided to apply for the Master in Finance at the Collegio Carlo Alberto as my first and only choice, because I believe it is the most suitable for my needs. Furthermore, the strong interest I have for the subjects covered in the courses program encourages me to make every efforts to be the top student.
    My background makes this Master’s an extremely valuable asset to me, but I think also the other way around is true. These are the reasons why I believe I am an excellent candidate for the position and I would be most grateful if I were given the opportunity to prove it.

    Thank you for the time you have taken to review my application.
    I look forward to your acceptance.
    Last edited by HardCore; 29-Jan-2015 at 21:05.

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: not native speaker: help with motivation letter for master in finance

    One paragraph at a time.

    Quote Originally Posted by HardCore View Post
    Dear Sir or Madam,

    With this letter I wish to apply and state my motivation for entrance to the Master's in Finance degree program at the Collegio Carlo Alberto, for the 2015/2016 academic year.

    For as long as I can remember I’ve always had a special aptitude for mathematics and my passion for it intensified when, during my teenage years, I first heard about bonds and stocks. Without even realising it, I discovered the world of finance, which is replete with mathematics.
    Since then, the word “finance” has guided my choices in schools, and the more I learned, the more my professional ambitions took shape. Now, having acquired a wider vision, I aim to become a brilliant portfolio manager or to work for financial firms which study new quantitative models for portfolio optimization.
    Note that the phrase is usually stocks and bonds. (Please don't ask me why.)

    Last edited by Tarheel; 04-Feb-2015 at 20:55. Reason: Fix spelling mistakes/typos

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    #3

    Re: not native speaker: help with motivation letter for master in finance

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    One paragraph at a time.



    Not that the phrase is usually stocks and bonds. (Please don't ask me why.)

    thanks for the suggestion ..
    I'm looking forward to the other paragraphs

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: not native speaker: help with motivation letter for master in finance

    Quote Originally Posted by HardCore View Post

    My innate inner drive has continuously pushed me to excel, therefore I’ve always tried to deepen my quantitative and informatics skills. As evidence of this, my classmates have often consulted me as a point of reference.
    People consult me for spelling.


    Quote Originally Posted by HardCore View Post
    In the first year of the master’s degree, thanks to my academic results, I was selected to take part in the University Trading Challenge as a member of a four-person team. This challenge is a real money international online trading championship, which represented my first significant experience that allowed me to trade and invest real money on financial markets. I’m proud to say that my team was the runner-up among over ninety participating universities.


    Quote Originally Posted by HardCore View Post
    I graduated with honors from the University of Modena and Reggio Emilia, obtaining a Master’s degree in Financial Analysis, Advising and Management. Nevertheless, I feel that I need additional study in a challenging academic environment to broaden my expertise and prepare myself for my future successful career in a very competitive industry. The passion and enthusiasm I have for finance have made me thirsty for more knowledge. This is the reason why I want to continue my studies.


    Quote Originally Posted by HardCore View Post
    Having analysed in detail the Master’s courses programs offered by several universities, I’ve decided to apply for the Master in Finance at the Collegio Carlo Alberto as my first and only choice, because I believe it is the most suitable for my needs. Furthermore, the strong interest I have for the subjects covered in the courses program encourages me to make every effort to be the top student.
    I would prefer do my best, but make every effort is OK.

    Quote Originally Posted by HardCore View Post
    My background makes this Master’s an extremely valuable asset to me, but I think also the other way around is true. These are the reasons why I believe I am an excellent candidate for the position and I would be most grateful if I were given the opportunity to prove it.

    Thank you for the time you have taken to review my application.
    I look forward to your acceptance.
    Any more would, in my opinion, have been too much. (I was laid low with a cold virus, which is why I was off the forum for so long.)


    (Edited to say that I fixed my spelling in the previous post, changing Not to Note.)
    Last edited by Tarheel; 04-Feb-2015 at 21:08. Reason: add something

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    #5

    Re: not native speaker: help with motivation letter for master in finance

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    People consult me for spelling.












    I would prefer do my best, but make every effort is OK.



    Any more would, in my opinion, have been too much. (I was laid low with a cold virus, which is why I was off the forum for so long.)


    (Edited to say that I fixed my spelling in the previous post, changing Not to Note.)

    thank you very much for your help ..
    I hope you're better now !!!

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