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      • Native Language:
      • German
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      • Germany
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    • Join Date: Jan 2015
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    #1

    My Hobbies

    Dear Forum,

    not sure whether I found the right place to ask for advice. If not, please forgive me, I'll try better next time.

    Beforehand a few words about my situation. I am a 48 years old German, currently visiting a school to attain the "State-certified technical engineer" degree. Partial goal of this 2-years education is to reach B2 level in English. Last week I wrote an essay which was graded 98%. I am very content with this assessment, but I would like to receive a native speaker's feedback, especially with focus on wording and phrasing.

    So here it comes:

    “My Hobbies – An Essay”

    I do not have to worry about tediousness. I have got hobbies. Not just a single one, but more than a handful, for sure. Most of them took roots in my childhood. Take a glance at a few of them whilst I explain.

    Music

    There is no pondering about the very first hobby that made it to catch my attention. In infancy I loved it when my mother put on a record or two. Also I was very impressed to see my grandfather play accordion. So I wanted to make music all by myself, wanted to play instruments. In an autodidactic manner I learnt to play electronic organ. In my youth I took classical guitar lessons for three years. Several years later – as a father of two – I fooled around with a saxophone. But after a couple of months I ceased stressing my children's ears. Nowadays I enjoy accompanying my son who is playing the recorder with my guitar. To explain this hobby's relevance for my life, I suggest listening to John Miles' song “Music”.

    Reading

    I learned to read at the age of four or five. Very helpful for my practise was the daily newspaper which I found at the breakfast table every morning. I started reading books like “Fünf Freunde und ...” (“The Famous Five” in English, written by Enid Blyton) in the summer before elementary school began. But soon non-fictional books must have cast a spell over me. I discovered that this kind of books help me to extend my knowledge about things in the world immensely. No wonder that I spend a lot of time with everyday reading – with a Faustian quotation: “dass ich erkenne, was die Welt im Innersten zusammenhält”.

    Computers

    Well, computers are weird things. Sometimes they do what you suppose them to do, sometimes they don't. But what made me deal with computers? On a Sunday morning in the early seventies, my father, at that time CIO of a building trust, had to drive to the Cologne headquarter and asked me to go along with him. ON HOLY SUNDAY, the family day??? Well, that must be very important concerns when he risked quarrelling with Mom. Curiosity won, so I agreed. When we arrived, he led me to the cellar floor, and through a steel door we entered a room full of huge blue cabinets. The air was icy there, and most of the cubicles were equipped with buttons, some of them lit, some flashing. Other cabinets contained huge rotating reels, just like the tape recorder I disassembled the week before, but much larger. Wow. I never ever had seen something like this before. Dad went to a table, took place and sat down in front of a thing that looked like a TV set with a typewriter keyboard. The screen was black except for a thin green line flashing in the upper left corner. Then Dad pressed some keys, and what happened? Green letters appeared on the TV screen. Wow! My father needs no paper for writing, he uses a screen. Moreover, a colour screen! This was maybe the most impressive moment in my childhood. Immediately and intuitively I got an idea of information processing. From this very moment I wished to own such a machine, wished to control it, wished to construct it. A couple of years later my wishes got fulfilled – partially. Computers became available and affordable for private individuals, and in the early eighties I learned to write programmes on my very own personal computer. So I take pride in being called a pioneer of the home computer hype.

    Electronics

    What makes the bulb give light? What makes the very very silent music on the record go to the speaker, sounding like an orchestra? How can sound be conveyed over a huge distance – without being heard in between? Questions like these bothered me when I was a schoolboy. And books gave me the answers. Electronics is the key technology for all those questions. Computers are built from electronic components. From this point of view it was absolutely inevitable to learn more about electronics. Today I still like experimenting with electronics and electrical current. This hobby connects many of my other hobbies. Great Idea. But, safety first!

    Nowadays

    The last two years I spent a lot of spare time with fulfilling the remainder of my wishes. I designed, layouted and soldered a small computer “from scratch”. Currently I am writing an operating system for the little device that made it to change the world – at least my world.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
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      • British English
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      • UK
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      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,843
    #2

    Re: My Hobbies

    I do not have to worry about tediousness tedium. I have got hobbies. Not just a single one, but more than a handful, for sure certainly. Most of them took roots took root/have their roots in my childhood. Take a glance at a few of them whilst while I explain.


    I don't have time right now to deal with your entire essay but above, in red, I have shown what I would do with your first paragraph.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

    • Member Info
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      • Chinese
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      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,324
    #3

    Re: My Hobbies

    Music

    There is no pondering doubt about the my very first hobby that made it to catch my attention. In infancy When I was small I loved it when my mother put a record or two on the gramophone. Also, I was very impressed to see my grandfather play the accordion. So I wanted to make music all by myself, I wanted to play musical instruments. In an autodidactic manner, I learnt to play the electronic organ. In During my youth, I took classical guitar lessons for three years. Several years later, as a father of two, I fooled around toyed with a the saxophone. But after a couple of months, I ceased stressing my children's ears. Nowadays, I enjoy accompanying my son who is playing the recorder with on my guitar. To explain this hobby's relevance for to my life, I suggest listening to John Miles' song, “Music”.


    not a teacher

    • Member Info
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      • Chinese
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      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,324
    #4

    Re: My Hobbies

    Reading

    I learned to read at the age of four or five. Very helpful for my practise practice of reading was the daily newspaper which I found at the breakfast table every morning. I started reading books like “Fünf Freunde und ...” (“The Famous Five” in English, written by Enid Blyton) in the summer before elementary school began. But soon, non-fictional books must have cast a spell over me. I discovered that this kind of books helped me to extend widen my knowledge about things in the world immensely. No wonder that I spend a lot of time with everyday reading, with a as the Faustian quotation goes : “dass ich erkenne, was die Welt im Innersten zusammenhält”.

    not a teacher

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,843
    #5

    Re: My Hobbies

    Rather than the overly wordy, and potentially rather pompous "In an autodicatic manner, I learnt to play the electronic organ", say "I taught myself to play the ...".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,324
    #6

    Re: My Hobbies

    Computers

    Well, computers are weird things. Sometimes they do what you suppose
    want them to do, sometimes they don't. But what made me deal love to work with computers? On a Sunday morning in the early seventies, my father, at that time the CIO of a building trust, had to drive to the Cologne headquarter and asked me to go along with him. ON HOLY SUNDAY, the family day??? Well, that there must be very important concerns when he risked quarrelling with Mom. Curiosity won, so I agreed. When we arrived, he led me to the cellar floor, and through a steel door we entered a room full of huge blue cabinets. The air was icy there, and most of the cubicles were equipped with buttons, some of them lit, some flashing. Other cabinets contained huge rotating reels, just like the tape recorder I disassembled the week before, but much larger. Wow. I never ever had seen something like this before. Dad went to a table, took place and sat down a seat in front of a thing that looked like a TV set with a typewriter keyboard. The screen was black except for a thin green line flashing in the upper left corner. Then Dad pressed some keys, and what happened? Green letters appeared on the TV screen. Wow! My father needed no paper for writing, he used a screen. Moreover, a colour screen! This That was maybe the most impressive moment in my childhood. Immediately and intuitively, I got an idea of information processing. From this that very moment on, I wished to own such a machine, wished to control it, wished to construct it. A couple of years later my wishes got were fulfilled – partially. Computers became available and affordable for private individuals, and in the early eighties I learned to write programmes on my very own personal computer. So I take pride in being called a pioneer of the home computer hype.

    Electronics

    What makes the electric light bulb give emit light? What makes the very, very silent music on the record go to the speaker, sounding to produce the sound effect like an orchestra? How can sound be conveyed transmitted over a huge distance – without being heard in hose questions(?). Computers are built from electronic components. From this point of view it was absolutely inevitable To understand how the computer works, it is important to learn more about electronics. Today, I still like experimenting with electronics and electrical current. This hobby connects to many of my other hobbies. It is a great Idea. But, safety first!

    Nowadays The Present

    The last two years, I spent a lot of spare time with fulfilling the remainder of my wishes. I have designed, layouted laid out and soldered a small computer “from scratch”. Currently, I am writing a program for an operating system for the little device that made it to change has changed the world – at least my world.

    not a teacher
    Last edited by tedmc; 02-Feb-2015 at 17:51.

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