[Grammar] Some Awkward Sentence need to be fixed

[Zhaoy2152]

1.The vulgar and hateful lyrics children are being influenced by them.

2.Marla has no reason to grieve in sorrow when she has no one to blame but herself.

3.For example, people sometimes get so angry that they would like to take someone else's life and murder them.

4.To donate money to the homeless shelter is helping people stay warm in the winter.

5.He has shown leadership in guiding, indeed sometimes demanding of them, to keep their focus on the task at hand.

 

[MikeNewYork]

Is this homework?

 

[Zhaoy2152]

Fix Awkward Sentences

1.The vulgar and hateful lyrics children are being influenced by them.

2.Marla has no reason to grieve in sorrow when she has no one to blame but herself.

3.for example, people sometimes get so angry that they would like to take someone else's life and murder them.

4.To donate money to the homeless shelter is helping people stay warm in the winter.

5.He has shown leadership in guiding, indeed sometimes demanding of them, to keep their focus on the task at hand.

Would you please help me fix the sentences because I have no idea?

 

[MikeNewYork]

Re: Fix Awkward Sentences

I asked you before if this was homework. Rather than answer, you posted the same question again. Please do not do that.

 

[Zhaoy2152]

Re: Fix Awkward Sentences

It is just some practicing sentence from my mind, and that's all.

Thank You

 

[emsr2d2]

Re: Fix Awkward Sentences

Identical threads merged. I have left both posts in full to show how things proceeded after MikeNewYork's first response.

 

[tedmc]

1.The vulgar and hateful lyrics children are being influenced by them.
Children are being influenced by the vulgar and hateful lyrics

2.Marla has no reason to grieve in sorrow when she has no one to blame but herself.
Marla has no reason to grieve [STRIKE]in sorrow[/STRIKE] when she has no one to blame but herself.

3.For example, people sometimes get so angry that they would like to take someone else's life and murder them.
For example, people sometimes get so angry that they would [STRIKE]like to[/STRIKE] take someone else's life [STRIKE]and murder them.[/STRIKE]

4.To donate money to the homeless shelter is helping people stay warm in the winter.
To donate money to the homeless[STRIKE] shelter [/STRIKE]is helping people stay warm in the winter.

5.He has shown leadership in guiding, indeed sometimes demanding of them, to keep their focus on the task at hand.
He has shown leadership in guiding, indeed sometimes demanding [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] them, to keep their focus on the task at hand.

not a teacher

 

[emsr2d2]

What did you think was wrong with "the homeless shelter", tedmc?

 

[tedmc]

A home is a shelter, so "homeless shelter" doesn't make sense.

 

[emsr2d2]

Yes it does. A "homeless shelter" is somewhere homeless people can go, usually just for one night, to get a warm meal and bed for the night. It is not, by any means, a home. They're also known as night shelters and emergency hostels.

 

[tedmc]

OK, but we do not have places like that where we come from.
Do you mean the sentence is correct as it is?

 

[emsr2d2]

Homeless shelters are widespread (though there aren't enough of them in my opinion) in the UK.

The original sentence was "To donate money to the homeless shelter is helping people stay warm in the winter". "The homeless shelter" is fine. I would reword the rest of the sentence to:

"Donating money to a/the homeless shelter helps [homeless] people stay warm in winter."

 

[MikeNewYork]

1.The vulgar and hateful lyrics children are being influenced by them.
Children are being influenced by the vulgar and hateful lyrics

2.Marla has no reason to grieve in sorrow when she has no one to blame but herself.
Marla has no reason to grieve [STRIKE]in sorrow[/STRIKE] when she has no one to blame but herself.

3.For example, people sometimes get so angry that they would like to take someone else's life and murder them.
For example, people sometimes get so angry that they would [STRIKE]like to[/STRIKE] take someone else's life [STRIKE]and murder them.[/STRIKE]

4.To donate money to the homeless shelter is helping people stay warm in the winter.
To donate money to the homeless[STRIKE] shelter [/STRIKE]is helping people stay warm in the winter.

5.He has shown leadership in guiding, indeed sometimes demanding of them, to keep their focus on the task at hand.
He has shown leadership in guiding, indeed sometimes demanding [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] them, to keep their focus on the task at hand.

not a teacher

3. Without further context, there is no reason to delete "like to". That changes the meaning of the original sentence.

4. Just for parallelism, I would change the initial infinitive to a gerund.

5. There is no need for the comma after "them".

 

[tedmc]

Without further context, there is no reason to delete "like to". That changes the meaning of the original sentence.

I cannot imagine there are people who 'would like to' take another person's life just because they are angry.

not a teacher

 

[MikeNewYork]

"Like to" is far more common than actually doing it.