[General] Please check my writing style and grammar

[CharlesfromParis]

Hello everybody!


My name is Charles and I am a French student who will soon have a placement in United Kingdom. Thanks to your help, I would like to write a message to my supervisor without any flaws. As a Frenchman, I do not have a complete sense of English grammar and style so I hope that you will help me to write a perfect message as an Englishman worthy of the name should do! Below is my message:


Dear Dr XXXX,

I hope that your trip in Japan went well and I would like to thank you very much for offering me a placement in your laboratory. I yearningly look forward to visiting Roman Baths, to strolling in its luxurious gardens, to becoming acquainted with Bathonian people, and above all, to working with you. Regarding the project itself, would it be possible to have more information about the topic? I saw in your profile that you published some articles in the Langmuir journal which covers research in the area of surface and colloid chemistry. So I would like to know, thanks to your knowledge and skills, how your field can be applied to better understand interfacial processes. Should you need further information, please do not hesitate to contact me at your convenience.

Thank you very much for your consideration in this matter.

Yours faithfully,

Charles XXXX

 

[Carlosechetto]

Hi Charlie! I can see that regardless of you French nationality, you've got a wide vocabulary. Anyhow, I am not a native either, so I would try to help you as much as I can.

Hello everybody!


My name is Charles and I am a French student who will soon have a placement in United Kingdom. Thanks to (Thanks FOR something, Thanks TO someone) for your help, I would like to write a message to my supervisor without any flaws. As a Frenchman, I do not have a complete sense of English grammar and style so I hope that you will help me to write (help takes the bare infinitive, without TO. both are correct, but I find HELP ME WRITE better) a perfect message as an Englishman worthy of the name should do! Below is my message:


Dear Dr XXXX,

I hope that your trip in Japan went well and I would like to thank you very much for offering me a placement in your laboratory. I yearningly look forward to visiting Roman Baths, to strolling in its luxurious gardens, to becoming acquainted with Bathonian people, and above all, to working with you. Regarding the project itself, would it be possible to have more information about the topic? I saw in your profile that you published some articles in the Langmuir journal which covers research in the area of surface and colloid chemistry. So I would like to know, thanks (I'd rather say ACCORDING) to your knowledge and skills, how your field can be applied (how can your field be applied) to better understand interfacial processes. Should you need further information, please do not hesitate to contact me at your convenience.

Thank you very much for your consideration in this matter.



I couldn't find many mistakes but, I am not very in touch with punctuation therefore, I think somebody's else review would be useful as well.

Enchanté de pouvoir t'aider! (My French sucks)

 

[Tarheel]

Hello everybody!


My name is Charles and I am a French student who will soon have a placement in United Kingdom. With your help, I would like to write a message to my supervisor without any flaws. As a Frenchman, I do not have a complete sense of English grammar and style so I hope that you will help me to write a perfect message as an Englishman worthy of the name should do! Below is my message:

Well, I'm American. (Not English.)
:-(

Dear Dr XXXX,

I hope that your trip in Japan went well, and I would like to thank you very much for offering me a placement in your laboratory. I yearningly look forward to visiting Roman Baths, to strolling in its luxurious gardens, to becoming acquainted with Bathonian people, and above all, to working with you. Regarding the project itself, would it be possible to have more information about the topic? I saw in your profile that you published some articles in the Langmuir journal which covers research in the area of surface and colloid chemistry. So I would like to know, thanks to your knowledge and skills, how your field can be applied to better understand interfacial processes. Should you need further information, please do not hesitate to contact me at your convenience.

Thank you very much for your consideration in this matter.

Yours faithfully,

Charles XXXX

Delete "yearningly" from the second sentence. (Its use is perfectly grammatical but weird.) Is Roman Baths a place name? (I don't think there is any such thing as Bathonian people.

Out of time!