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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Uzbek
      • Home Country:
      • Uzbekistan
      • Current Location:
      • Uzbekistan

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Can anybody help in checking my grammar please.

    COVER LETTER

    Phone:
    E-mail:

    Dear employers!

    For years, the strong desire has grown up in me to do something important and more helpful for people. Since I began working with ICRC-Afghanistan, almost four years ago, I was interested in applying my skills to an international position. Seeing our expatriates' working in the field missions, their lifestyle in different culture, willingness to know more about community, really challenging me to become a part of the bigger mission.

    I am especially interested in “Financial planning and budgeting analyst” position for several reasons:
    First, I have ten years of thoroughly experience in government, private sectors and in humanitarian organization.
    Second, as a Finance officer in ICRC-Afghanistan, being a national staff, who is an expert in local legislation, I participate and assist to Finance coordinator and Resource manager in budgeting procedures.
    Third, as I’m qualified with the Certificate of CAP (Certified Accounting Practitioner) by Eurasian Council of Certified Accountants and Auditors, program for professional accountants, I’m good in financial planning and budgeting, but I really need to master my practical budgeting skills within organization.
    Fourth, ICRC-Afghanistan was a sub-recipient of Global fund resources (Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria) and as I was responsible in preparation, reconciliation and submission of quarterly financial reports, I know how to work closely with donors and accurately prepare all required financial documents.
    Finally, when I have the right mix of experience and skill, promotion to a more senior level may become a realistic goal.

    It is really chance for me to good use my gained skills internationally and to get valuable experience.
    I’m sure that I would bring my positive outcomes to management system of Save the Children, where I go to work for and left good memories in people behind me.
    Until now I always postponed my aim for the future because of my family, children (they were young), and now I think it is really time to challenge myself to discover new experience outside of my normal comfort zone.
    I strongly believe that I have the necessary skills, knowledge and experience.

    I became aware of the importance of the field missions of international organizations.
    I am aware of the difficulties of working in conflict areas.
    I believe I meet the requirements and I hope for a positive reply.

    Sincerely,
    Najat Hakdi.

  1. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #2

    Re: Can anybody help in checking my grammar please.

    Dear Sir or Madam,
    For years, I have had a strong desire to do something important and helpful for other people. Since I began working with The International Committee for the Red Cross (ICRC) -Afghanistan, almost four years ago, I have been interested in applying my skills to an international position. Seeing our expatriates' work in the field missions, their lifestyle in different cultures, and willingness to know more about community, has really challenged me to become a part of a bigger mission.

    I am especially interested in the “Financial Planning and Budgeting Analyst” position for several reasons:
    First, I have ten years of solid experience in government, private sector and in humanitarian organization roles.
    Second, as a Finance Officer in ICRC-Afghanistan, being a national staff member, who is an expert in local legislation, I have participated and assisted in financial coordinating and resource management in budgeting procedures.
    Third, as I am qualified with the Certificate of CAP (Certified Accounting Practitioner) by Eurasian Council of Certified Accountants and Auditors, program for professional accountants, I am skilled in financial planning and budgeting, but I really need to master my practical budgeting skills within your organization.
    Fourth, ICRC-Afghanistan was a sub-recipient of global fund resources (Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria) and as I was responsible in the preparation, reconciliation and submission of quarterly financial reports, I know how to work closely with donors and accurately prepare all required financial documents.
    Finally, when I have the right mix of experience and skill, promotion to a more senior level may become a realistic goal.

    This is a genuine opportunity for me to properly utilize the skills I have gained internationally and to obtain further valuable experience.
    I am confident that I would bring positive outcomes to the management system of Save the Children.
    Until now I have always postponed my ambition for the future because of my family, children (they were young), and now I think it is really time to challenge myself to discover new experience outside of my normal comfort zone.
    I strongly believe that I have the necessary skills, knowledge and experience.

    I am highly aware of the importance of the field missions of international organizations, as well as of the difficulties of working in conflict areas.
    I believe I meet the requirements and I hope for a positive reply.

    Sincerely,
    Najat Hakdi.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Apr 2009
    • Posts: 12,310
    #3

    Re: Can anybody help in checking my grammar please.

    Dear employers!
    Why are you shouting?

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Dec 2009
    • Posts: 6,332
    #4

    Re: Can anybody help in checking my grammar please.

    ***** NOT A TEACHER *****

    Hello, Najat Haldi:

    May I make a respectful suggestion?

    I think that you might have more success if you submit a much shorter letter.

    Nowadays administrators are very busy. I think that they respond better to short letters.

    I suggest that you simply state your qualifications -- without telling the administrator that you "have the necessary skills, knowledge, and experience."

    Furthermore, it might be a good idea NOT to discuss your personal problems ("... postponed my aim for the future because of my family"). This is something that you might discuss if you get an interview. But -- to be honest -- I doubt that an administrator reading your letter has any interest in that.

    If the administrator opens ten letters and notices that 9 of them are long but that yours is concise, which one do you think that s/he is probably going to pay attention to? Which one would you pay attention to? A short, well-written letter takes time and effort. The reader will appreciate that fact.



    I hope you get the job.


    James

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