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    #1

    flock of sheep

    Please check the sentences below for any grammatical error.

    One day Akbar and Birbal visited to a goat farm. There were a flock of sheep. A shepherd had been providing leaves to the goats. Akbar asks Birbal after seeing that "If we give twice of feeds to the goats than usual,the weight of the goats also will doubled",Am I right? "We cant say like that,There will be no much differences on the weights even if we provide howsoever feeds" Birbal replied.
    Last edited by Ajay 123; 20-Feb-2015 at 21:53.

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: flock of sheep

    Quote Originally Posted by Ajay 123 View Post
    One day Akbar and Birbal visited to a goat farm. There were a flock of sheep.
    Say: "There was a flock of sheep." (The word "flock" is construed as singular.) But don't. Why mention the flock of sheep when it turns out that the sheep have nothing to do with the story? (In any case, it would be better to say something like: "We saw a flock of sheep there.")



    Quote Originally Posted by Ajay 123 View Post
    A shepherd had been providing leaves to the goats. Akbar asks Birbal after seeing that "If we give twice of feeds to the goats than usual,the weight of the goats also will doubled",Am I right? "We cant say like that,There will be no much differences on the weights even if we provide howsoever feeds" Birbal replied.
    Try:

    They saw a goatherd feeding leaves to the goats.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goatherd
    Goat Herder

    Try:


    After observing the goatherd, Akbar says to Birbal: "If we feed the goats twice as much as usual the weight of the goats should double. Am I right?" Birbal replied: "No, it doesn't work that way. The goats will not gain weight faster because we feed them more."

  2. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: flock of sheep

    Well, like other species, goats will gain weight faster if they are fed more.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: flock of sheep

    When are you going to submit this piece of writing to your English teacher, Ajay 123?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: flock of sheep

    Quote Originally Posted by MikeNewYork View Post
    Well, like other species, goats will gain weight faster if they are fed more.
    Does that explain why I've been gaining weight?

  5. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: flock of sheep

    Have you been eating goat?

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    #7

    Re: flock of sheep

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    When are you going to submit this piece of writing to your English teacher, Ajay 123?
    I tried to translate a short story from my native language in order to improve my English. Below is continuation of the story. Please review for any correcton.

    "I couldn't believe what you said,you do one thing,take a goat from the farm and feed the goat twice as much as than usual for a month,then let's see whether the weight of the goat increased?" added Birbal. As per Akbar(King) instruction Birbal(Akbar's adviser) took a goat to the palace premises. He also assigned a worker from the palace for goathered feeding to the goat twice of than usual on a daily basis. As soon as worker left in the evening,Birbal ordered a butcher to stand with a knife infront of the goat for a whole night. This continued for a month.

    Eventhough the goat fed through out the day,feeded food did not stain on it's body as the goat saw the butcher with a knife. Akbar checked weight of the goat after one month and found astonished as it was same weight. Akbar questioned Birbal "Why that goat hasn't gained weight even we feeded twice than usual for a month"?


    Moral of the story:....?
    Last edited by Ajay 123; 23-Feb-2015 at 20:33.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: flock of sheep

    The past tense of feed is fed. Example:

    A. Did you feed the dog?
    B. Yes, I fed the dog.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ajay 123 View Post

    "I couldn't believe what you said,you do one thing,take a goat from the farm and feed the goat twice as much as than usual for a month,then let's see whether the weight of the goat increased?" added Birbal.
    Try:

    "I can't believe what you said. You want to pick out a goat from the farm and feed it twice as much as usual for a month, then check to see if the weight of the goat has increased?" Birbal asked.


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    #9

    Re: flock of sheep

    When you are telling a story you want every sentence to naturally follow the previous one. However, the transition from sentence 1 to sentence 2 is not natural.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ajay 123 View Post
    As per Akbar(King) instruction Birbal(Akbar's adviser) took a goat to the palace premises. He also assigned a worker from the palace for goathered feeding to the goat twice of than usual on a daily basis. As soon as worker left in the evening,Birbal ordered a butcher to stand with a knife infront of the goat for a whole night. This continued for a month.
    Try:

    As per Kind Akbar's instructions, Birbal (Akbar's advisor) took a goat to the palace premises. He also assigned a worker from the palace twice the amount of its usual feed every day. Birbal also ordered a butcher (starting after the worker left) to stand in front of the goat with a knife all night long. That continued for a month.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ajay 123 View Post
    Even though the goat was fed through out the day,feeded food did not stain on its body as the goat saw the butcher with a knife.
    Since I have no idea what you are trying to say, I have no idea what to change that to.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ajay 123 View Post
    Akbar checked weight of the goat after one month and found astonished as it was same weight. Akbar questioned Birbal "Why that goat hasn't gained weight even we feeded twice than usual for a month"?
    Try:

    Akbar weighed the goat after one month and was astonished to discover that it was the same weight as it was at the beginning. Akbar asked Birbal: "Why hasn't the goat gained weight even though we fed it twice the usual amount for a month?"


    Quote Originally Posted by Ajay 123 View Post
    Moral of the story:....?
    It's a waste of time to overfeed a goat?

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    #10

    Re: flock of sheep

    Since I have no idea what you are trying to say, I have no idea what to change that to.



    I want to say " Goat scared to saw the butcher on every night when he had a knife. Due to this goat doesn't benefit on its body, eventhough fed twice the amount of its usual".
    Last edited by Ajay 123; 24-Feb-2015 at 19:38.

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