[Essay] Proof-reading of a short essay very welcomed :)

[thielean]

Hello guys ,

I'm a german economics student and I want to improve my english on my own and i thought why not just try to write a short essay about an article and see how it turns out.

Thanking you in advance for everyone who finds a minute to read through my writing.:up:

Andreas

The article 'False hope', published on February 21[SUP]st[/SUP] 2015 in the Economist, deals with the conduct of statistical data and its implication on investment strategies.


Firstly, the author presents a negative example of how statistical data can be used wrongly in order to obtain benefits: a number n of prospective clients receive an e-mail by a deceitful investment firm stating that a particular stock will go up/down. As we know, the probability foreach event is 50%. After the first round of e-mails sent, half of the client pool will have received an e-mail with a positive prediction and the same procedure is then repeated till round 10. In the end there will be (n/(0.5)^10) clients who believe that the investment strategy is outstanding and entrust their financial capital to the criminals.


Secondly, statistical research in the finance industry is often managed in away to produce a particular result. This is achieved by lowering the amount of tests conducted, which increases the probability to obtain a certain result and decreases the associated costs.


The problem seems to be that the methods in analyzing statistical data can be altered at one's own discretion, which stands in stark contrast to the traditional image of the deterministic nature of mathematics.


Two solutions are subsequently presented:


First, the number and quality of tests analyzing statistical data has to be improved. It is evident that the author is suggesting that the finance industries' willingness to pay has to increase considerably for the good of all market participants.


Second, investment strategies should be tested against future data thereby reducing the risk of finding a correlation without causation. This,of course, strongly contradicts the incentive of the investment manager to pursue short-term over long-term results, as he would have to be patient without consulting past data.


All in all, the Economist published an interesting read about an issue not often emphasized by the business/economics-media. It further proves to a certain extent the independence of the publisher as about 50% of the ownership is composed of wealthy individuals linked with the finance industry and who do not have an interest in seeing the overall costs go up. However, apart from citing two solutions,the author fails to bring in his own conclusion on the matter which makes me think as to what extent he has actually grasped the problem at hand. And that is never a good sign.

 

[teechar]

This looks more like a critical summary or an article review, rather than an essay! ;-)

The article 'False hope', published on February 21[SUP]st[/SUP] 2015 in the Economist, deals with the use of statistical data and its implication for investment strategies.


Firstly, the author presents a negative example of how statistical data can be misused in order to obtain benefits: a number n of prospective clients receive an e-mail by a deceitful investment firm stating that a particular stock will go up/down. As we know, the probability for either event is 50%. After the first round of e-mails [STRIKE]sent[/STRIKE], half of the client pool will have received an e-mail with a positive prediction and the same procedure is then repeated till round 10. In the end, there will be (n/(0.5)^10) clients who believe that the investment strategy is outstanding and entrust their financial capital to the criminals.


Secondly, the article points out that statistical research in the finance industry is often managed in such a way as to produce a particular result. This is achieved by lowering the amount of tests conducted, which increases the probability of obtaining a certain result and decreases the associated costs.


According to the article, the problem seems to be that the methods in analyzing statistical data can be altered at one's own discretion, which stands in stark contrast to the traditional image of the deterministic nature of mathematics.


Two solutions are subsequently presented:


First, the number and quality of tests analyzing statistical data has to be improved. It is evident that the author is suggesting that the finance industry's willingness to pay has to increase considerably for the good of all market participants. The meaning of the underlined part is unclear.


Second, investment strategies should be tested against future data thereby reducing the risk of finding a correlation without causation. This, of course, strongly contradicts the incentive of the investment manager to pursue short-term over long-term results, as he/she would have to be patient without consulting past data. You could use "they" instead of he/she.


All in all, the Economist has published an interesting [STRIKE]read [/STRIKE]article about an issue not often [STRIKE]emphasized by[/STRIKE] highlighted in the business/economics-media. It further proves to a certain extent the independence of the publisher as about 50% of the ownership is composed of wealthy individuals linked with the finance industry and who do not have an interest in seeing the overall costs go up. However, apart from citing two solutions,the author fails to outline his own conclusion on the matter which makes me doubt as to what extent he has actually grasped the problem at hand. And that is never a good sign.

 

[thielean]

Thank you very much!

 

[Tarheel]

I agree with Teechar that it is either a critical summary or article review. But it is in English. (Please note that you should capitalize English, German, Spanish, Russian, ​etc.)

 

[thielean]

I agree in that it was more of a slightly critical summary. I'm actually quite interested in the subject, so I think that it would be a good idea to take some time soon and write a proper essay about it. In English, of course. Cheers

 

[Tarheel]

Secondly, statistical research in the finance industry is often managed in a way to produce a particular result. This is achieved by lowering the amount of tests conducted, which increases the probability to obtain a certain result and decreases the associated costs.


The problem seems to be that the methods in analyzing statistical data can be altered at one's own discretion, which stands in stark contrast to the traditional image of the deterministic nature of mathematics.


Two solutions are subsequently presented:


First, the number and quality of tests analyzing statistical data has to be improved. It is evident that the author is suggesting that the finance industry's willingness to pay has to increase considerably for the good of all market participants.

The finance industry's willingness to pay what to whom?


Second, investment strategies should be tested against future data thereby reducing the risk of finding a correlation without causation. This, of course, strongly contradicts the incentive of the investment manager to pursue short-term over long-term results, as he would have to be patient without consulting past data.


All in all, the Economist published an interesting read about an issue not often emphasized by the business/economics-media. It further proves to a certain extent the independence of the publisher as about 50% of the ownership is composed of wealthy individuals linked with the finance industry and who do not have an interest in seeing the overall costs go up. However, apart from citing two solutions,the author fails to bring in his own conclusion on the matter which makes me wonder as to what extent he has actually grasped the problem at hand. And that is never a good sign.[/QUOTE]

it's never a good sign of what?
:-?