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  1. Vincen't Wong's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Afrikaans
      • Home Country:
      • Taiwan
      • Current Location:
      • Taiwan

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 45
    #1

    Talking could anyone help me to check my writing ? 3t

    Hi teacher,
    I just finished a new writing, I hope that i can get your instruction again.

    Topic:
    The average weight of a Form 3 studentís school bag is now 5kg.Your school has organized a campaign to lighten school bring unnecessary items to school. However, you feel that students are not the only ones responsible for the weight problem. Write a letter to the editor saying what you think should be done by textbook publishers schools and/or students to improve the situation. Sign your name Chris Wong

    Dear editor,
    I am writing to express my concerns about the problem of overweight school bags of students. As the average weight of a form 3 studentís school bag is now 5kg. I am of the view that textbook publishers, schools and students have responsibilities for the problem. I would like to offer some suggestions for them to improve the situation.

    To begin with, many schools have not enough lockers or a special location for students to store their books. It is common to see that there are more than 2 students sharing a locker because school did not place enough lockers. Their lockers were always full so students had no choice but to bring textbooks to home from school. Also, a number of schools have an unreasonable school rule which is not allowing student to leave books in classroom. Kids have to comply with the rule. Otherwise, they will be punished. That is the reason why their school bags are always full and heavy. Apart form this, school teachers used to give students a lot of assignment, homework and tests. If you check their student handbooks, you will surprise that their schedule are always full. Students thus needed to bring many textbooks and homework to home for revisions. I hope that school should place more lockers in school and reduce the amount of homework and tests for students so that they no longer need to carry too many things going and leaving school everyday.

    Besides, students have responsibilities as well. They should tidy up their books in the school bags everyday. Some students were too lazy because they never thought about which books they needed or didnít need for the next day lessons. They just put all the books into the school bag and then go sleep. As a result, they should cultivate the habit of tidying up school days to lighten the weight. In addition, students should use or buy light schoolbags with higher quality. Parents need to force them to use light backpacks such as SPI instead of heavy school bags with cartoon icons. Although they are expensive, it is worthwhile to reduce the weight of school bags and improve studentís health.

    Also, I think that textbooks publisher can do something to improve the problem. Textbookís paper are usually more heavy than normal white paper because textbooksí papers containing plastic to improve itís quality and toughness. It can help publisher to sell it at a higher price. I hope that they could not use this method anymore to print out textbooks. It is not only not environmentally friendly, but also increasing the school bagsí weight.

    Students are valuable assets, we should try our best to improve the situation including building more lockers, reducing homework and tests, using light paper to make books and light backpacks, and tidying up books in school bags everyday. I hope my suggestions would be helpful to solve the problem.

    Yours faithfully,
    Chris Wong

  2. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #2

    Re: could anyone help me to check my writing ? 3t

    Dear editor, I am writing to express my concerns about the problem of overweight school bags of students, as the average weight of a form-3 studentís school bag is now 5kg. I am of the view that textbook publishers, schools and students bear the responsibility have responsibilities for the this problem. I would like to offer some suggestions for them to improve the situation.

    To begin with, many schools have not enough lockers or any special locations for students to store their books in. It is common to see that there are more than 2 students sharing a locker because their schools do not place provide enough lockers. Under such circumstances, as their lockers were always full, so students had no choice but to bring their textbooks to home from school. Also, a number of schools have an unreasonable school rule which is not allowing student to leave books in the classroom, and students have to comply with the rule. Otherwise, they will be punished. That is the reason why their school bags are always full and heavy. Apart form this, school teachers used to often give students a lot of assignments, homework and tests. If you check their student handbooks, you will be surprised that their schedules are always full. Students thus needed to bring many textbooks and much homework to home for revisions. I hope believe that schools should place more lockers in school and reduce the amount of homework and tests for students so that they no longer need to carry too many books and other school items things on their way to and from going and leaving school everyday.

    Besides, students have responsibilities as well. They should tidy up the contents of their school bags everyday. Some students were are too lazy and don't think because they never thought about which books they needed or don't didnít need for the next day's lessons. They just put all the books into the school bag and then go to sleep. As a result, they should cultivate the habit of tidying up their school bags days to lighten the weight. In addition, students should use or buy light and better quality schoolbags with higher quality, and their parents need to force should encourage them to use light backpacks such as SPI instead of heavy school bags with cartoon icons. Although they are may be expensive, it is worthwhile buying them to reduce the weight of school bags and improve the studentís health.

    Also, I also think that textbooks publishers can do something to alleviate improve the problem. Textbookís paper are is usually heavier more heavy than normal white paper because textbook papers contains plastic to improve itís quality and toughness, and that often It can helps publishers to sell books it at a higher price. However, I think I hope that they should could not use this method anymore to print out textbooks. It is not only not environmentally friendly, but it also increases the school bagsí weight of school bags.

    Students are valuable assets In summary, I believe that we should try our best to improve the situation including by providing building more lockers, reducing homework and tests, using light paper to make books, and buying lighter backpacks, and tidying up books in school bags everyday. I hope my suggestions would be helpful to solve the problem of heavy school bags.

    Yours faithfully,

    Chris Wong

  3. Vincen't Wong's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Afrikaans
      • Home Country:
      • Taiwan
      • Current Location:
      • Taiwan

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 45
    #3

    Re: could anyone help me to check my writing ? 3t

    I really appreiate your help. i'm very weak at writing so your instruction means so much for me

  4. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #4

    Re: could anyone help me to check my writing ? 3t

    Quote Originally Posted by Vincen't Wong View Post
    I really appreiate your help. i'm very weak at writing so your instruction means so much for me
    You're most welcome!
    I really think you should have more confidence in your writing ability, especially that you're putting in so much effort and doing such a good job.

    Keep going.

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,868
    #5

    Re: could anyone help me to check my writing ? 3t

    Vincen't Wong, when will you submit your essay to your teacher?

    Please check the information in your member profile. Are you quite sure you are a native Afrikaans speaker who hails from Afghanistan and who currently lives in Afghanistan?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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