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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    TOEFL - Writing

    Good friends are as valuable as pearls in life. I have two close friends at university which I have known them for more than three years. One of them; Mahdi is very clever, intelligent, and genius and he is also very kind to me. Although I consider him to be one of my close friends, I can never trust him since he sometimes tells lie to me. Conversely, Ali; the other friend of mine, he is not ingenious but I believe in his integrity and honestly so I can always count on him. In my point of view one of the most important considerations in a friendship is to be honest so that you can rely on him, you can have a real hearty relationship and you can count on him as friend who indeed have other valuable characteristics needed for a friendship.

    One of the most important aspects for friendship is to be honest so that you can rely on each other. Suppose you have a close friend who is so kind to you and he is clever too. As you know he may tell lies, you cannot believe him. Why is that? You do not know when he tells the truth and when he lies. It is very clear when someone is not honest with you, you cannot count on him or her. On the contrary, when someone is honest to you, your relation is beyond friendship then. For instance, For me, Ali (who is honest to me), is not only my close friend,but also he is as one of my family members.

    Another key point that shows the importance of honesty in a relationship is that it brings in more intimacy among friends. Suppose I know that a friend of mine who is so truthful to me, I can talk about my problems with him and share ideas. You always feel comfortable beside an honest person. You will have no doubt about him. Liars are always suspicious of each other.

    Most completing evidence that indicates telling the truth is the most important factors in a relationship is that honest people have most other essential characteristics for friendship. According to recent researches by scientists, honest people are also among the most kind, sympathetic, and even more creative people.

    All in all I have the point that if my friend, Mahdi was honest to me, he would have been a complete person and turns to one of the best friend I have ever had in my whole life. In this way we could have more intimate relation and I could rely on him in my entire life.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: TOEFL - Writing

    Good friends are as valuable as pearls in life. I have two close friends at university which whom I have known them for more than three years. One of them; Mahdi is very clever; intelligent, and almost a genius and he is also very kind to me. Although I consider him to be one of my close friends, I can never fully trust him since he sometimes tells lies to me. Conversely, Ali, the other friend of mine, he is not ingenious so clever but I believe in his integrity and honestly so I can always count on him. In my point of view, one of the most important considerations in a friendship is to be honest so that you can rely on him your friend. You can have a real hearty relationship with someone of integrity and you can count on him them as a friend in life ifwho indeed have other valuable characteristics needed for a friendship.

    One of the most important aspects for friendship is to be honest so that you can rely on each other. Suppose you have a close friend who is so kind to you and he is clever too. As you know he may tell lies, you cannot believe him. Why is that? You do not know when he tells the truth and when he lies. It is very clear when someone is not honest with you, you cannot count on him or her. On the contrary, when someone is honest to you, your relation is beyond friendship then. For instance, For me, Ali (who is honest to me), is not only my close friend,but also he is as one of my family members. This paragraph is unclear!

    Another key point that shows the importance of honesty in a relationship is that it brings in more intimacy among friends. Suppose I know that a friend of mine who is so truthful to me, I can talk about my problems with him them and share ideas. You always feel comfortable beside an honest person. You will have no doubt about him them. Liars are always suspicious of each other.

    Most completing evidence that indicates telling the truth is the most important factors in a relationship is that honest people have most other essential characteristics for friendship. According to recent researches by scientists, honest people are also among the most kind, sympathetic, and even more creative people. This paragraph is unclear!

    All in all I have the point that if my friend, Mahdi was honest to me, he would have been a complete person and turns to one of the best friend I have ever had in my whole life. In this way we could have more intimate relation and I could rely on him in my entire life.
    You need to sum up your arguments in the conclusion.

  3. Newbie
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    #3

    Re: TOEFL - Writing

    Hi teacher.
    Than you very much for editing my essay.
    I have less than 2 month to my TOEFL exam. Do you have any suggestion that help me improve my writing skill.
    best
    Vahid

  4. teechar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: TOEFL - Writing

    Quote Originally Posted by vahid11 View Post
    Hi teacher.
    Than you very much for editing my essay.
    I have less than 2 month to my TOEFL exam. Do you have any suggestion that help me improve my writing skill.
    best
    Vahid
    Practice makes perfect!

    Also, have a look here:
    https://www.usingenglish.com/resources/essays/


  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: TOEFL - Writing

    Say:

    You always feel comfortable with an honest person.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: TOEFL - Writing

    Friendship is a very important thing. You guard that relationship. You don't want to lose it.

  7. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: TOEFL - Writing

    Say:

    I have two close friends at university
    who I have known them for more than three years. One of them, Mahdi is very clever, very intelligent, (even a genius!), and he is also very kind to me.


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    #8

    Re: TOEFL - Writing

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    Say:

    I have two close friends at university
    who I have known them for more than three years. One of them, Mahdi is very clever, very intelligent, (even a genius!), and he is also very kind to me.

    Tarheel

    I thought the original 'whom' (objective pronoun) was correct. Why have you changed it to 'who'(subjective pronoun)?
    Also, 'them' should not be there.

    not a teacher

  8. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: TOEFL - Writing

    I would shorten "he sometimes tells lies to me" to simply "sometimes he lies to me".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #10

    Thumbs up Re: TOEFL - Writing

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Good friends are as valuable as pearls in life. I have two close friends at university which whom I have known them for more than three years. One of them; Mahdi is very clever; intelligent, and almost a genius and he is also very kind to me. Although I consider him to be one of my close friends, I can never fully trust him since he sometimes tells lies to me. Conversely, Ali, the other friend of mine, he is not ingenious so clever but I believe in his integrity and honestly so I can always count on him. In my point of view, one of the most important considerations in a friendship is to be honest so that you can rely on him your friend. You can have a real hearty relationship with someone of integrity and you can count on him them as a friend in life ifwho indeed have other valuable characteristics needed for a friendship.

    One of the most important aspects for friendship is to be honest so that you can rely on each other. Suppose you have a close friend who is so kind to you and he is clever too. As you know he may tell lies, you cannot believe him. Why is that? You do not know when he tells the truth and when he lies. It is very clear when someone is not honest with you, you cannot count on him or her. On the contrary, when someone is honest to you, your relation is beyond friendship then. For instance, For me, Ali (who is honest to me), is not only my close friend,but also he is as one of my family members. This paragraph is unclear!

    Another key point that shows the importance of honesty in a relationship is that it brings in more intimacy among friends. Suppose I know that a friend of mine who is so truthful to me, I can talk about my problems with him them and share ideas. You always feel comfortable beside an honest person. You will have no doubt about him them. Liars are always suspicious of each other.

    Most completing evidence that indicates telling the truth is the most important factors in a relationship is that honest people have most other essential characteristics for friendship. According to recent researches by scientists, honest people are also among the most kind, sympathetic, and even more creative people. This paragraph is unclear!

    All in all I have the point that if my friend, Mahdi was honest to me, he would have been a complete person and turns to one of the best friend I have ever had in my whole life. In this way we could have more intimate relation and I could rely on him in my entire life.
    You need to sum up your arguments in the conclusion.
    This is a brilliant correction! I have nothing to add actually. Anyway, if you do not mind I would give you some general recommendations. I wonder if they help, but still I want to share my experience with people studying English...

    Well, as for me each kind of activity relating to academic studies is a sort of your basis, background that will help you to pass any spesific language test such as IELTS or TOEFL, it does not matter that much. Let us look at writing for example: if you have enough experience in writing essays (in general I mean) it will not take much efforts for you to adapt to standarts of IELTS. And not only IELTS, to tell the truth. When it came to me to pass quite a big quantity of language tests including IELTS I occasionaly came across this site http://essaycool.com/ and, needless to say, I have finally found answers to the questions about proper writing still existing in my head. So, fist of all you must be sure that you really CAN WRITE. It means that you are not making serious mistakes in spelling and punctuation, you know what are linking words and transitions (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transitions_(linguistics) in the text for and what words are commonly used in the essays but are better to avoid (so called 'fillers') which mostly destroy your speech but can spoil your essay as well).

    Good luck anyway!

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