school admission request for my son

[akshara585]

please correct the following letter for me to give for a school admission


Respected Madam/sirs,


I would like to request that you consider my son, Abheek.R, for enrollment to your school in 5[SUP]th[/SUP] Standard.

Abheek has studied at Green Fields School, Manapullikavu, Palakkad. up to IV Standard. We are requesting his admission to 5[SUP]th[/SUP] Standard in your school. Please kindly consider my son as a potential student in your school.

Thank you very much for your kind attention and we look forward to hearing from you.



Yours faithfully,



(Ravikumar K S)

 

[teechar]

This letter is sparse on details to put it gently!

I would suggest that you write more to make it more worthy of consideration.

;-)

 

[Tarheel]

I suggest that you say "up to 4th standard (instead of "up to IV standard").

 

[emsr2d2]

Be consistent at least. Use either "IV standard" and "V standard", or "4th standard" and "5th standard". Mixing Roman numerals with Arabic (aka Hindu-Arabic and Indo-Arabic) numbers doesn't make sense.

 

[probus]

I strongly disagree with Teechar, the supposedly native English speaker supposedly from Iraq.

Your letter is the typically formulaic communication that Indian bureaucracy expects and demands. To embellish it would be a major error that might well result in delay in processing your application and possible failure. Your letter is perfect as is.

 

[akshara585]

Thanks all for the comments and corrections

 

[Tarheel]

Thanks all for the comments and corrections.

Please note that we get paid in Likes. ;-) Also note that emsr2d2 pretty much said the same thing I did only she used more words. ;-) Also my Likes added to their posts indicate agreement. Also, note that the Thank buttons and Like buttons indicate appreciation and agreement. (No need for an additional post for that.)